My cousin BELEMA..or "Belems"( please don't call her that,she hates it) is getting married in about a month.Her fiance's name is Tony.
Anyway, Belema and Tony recently found out that the're both AS(GENO TYPE).
Now, I know what you're thinking (Opus Don come again oh! How can they want to get married and not know their GENO TYPES?I mean..Who does that right??)
Well, here's the scenario.
Tony and Belema have been dating for about a year now.Like all relationships,they've had their fair share of drama(nothing serious) they love each other and sh#t happens!!
Tony is an only child,and for all intents and purposes thought he was AA for as long as he could remember(if the test results from a neighbourhood clinic is anything to go by)
And to be honest,you'd be amazed the number of people out there Who don't know their GENO-TYPE(don't get me started on that)
Anyway,armed with this info,Tony looks Belema(the love of his life)in the eye and tells her he is AA.
Well,fastforward to about a year later,Tony engages Belema.
Then came the Introduction(which was a little tedious)
Then they set a date for the wedding.After that they ran through crazy wedding arrangements;catering,wedding dress(Belema insisted on a BIG reception venue........women eh??)
After that came marriage counseling and "mandatory"medical screening.
Well,test results came out and BAM!!Tony's AS!!
I asked my heart broken cousin what she was going to do about it,she said,
"I don't care, Opus!!!Tony is the love of my life!"
"Up NEPA!!"came the annoying voice of my neighbour from outside the window (the idiot celebrated everything;Christmas,easter,Valentine's day and blackouts....I mean who does that?)
"We're getting married,"Belema went on.she seemed oblivious to the darkness around us.
"Jesus is in control" she concluded.
"hmmm!"I said thoughtfully.
"So......Belema,what are you going to do?"I asked again as the lights came back on.
"Up NEPA!!!"the lunatic went again.Seriously??
"Tony wants to go ahead."she Said finally after a long silence.
"....with God all things are possible"she concluded with an awkward smile.
Long story short,they've decided to STILL get married.
According to articles I've read on the subject there's a 25% probability of "birthing" a child with SS GENO-TYPE when an AS couple gets married.
I've heard of procedures(expensive procedures)to prevent AS couples from having SS infants.
I must tell you sha,that there are few things more traumatic and heartbreaking than taking care of an SS person.
It's painful to watch.
But aside from all this,I believe in the power of the almighty. I also believe in love.
But if I were in their shoes,I probably WOULDNT go ahead with the wedding.
But that's just me.
What do you think?
Life's a choice my friend
Choose wisely
Enough said
Comments are welcome......
Spammers on the other hand, would be shot, run over with my car, thrown off a cliff,
hung by their toe nails, and made to watch me do the MAKARINA....... in slow motion.
I'm just saying
pls advice ur cousin to save herself yhe heart ache and tumoil. It is a very traumatic experience, having sickle cell babies. i shld knw. U see my parents are both AS. They were so in love, they threw caution to the wind and got married. Then i was born, n their joy knew no bounds. Anyways luckily i am AS. but my siblings were not so lucky. A set of twin boys. identical and sickle cell anaemic. Long story short, the stress of taking care of them in their crisis, put a strain on the marriage. Then the first death..... Dad was like a haunted man. less than a yr later, we heard another woman was pregnant for him.An AA woman obviously. Mum confronted him, and he left her. Saddled with a critically sick child, that was a result of their "LOVE". My mum spent all her time and money on him, while dad started a new and healthy family. 3yrs later, the surviving twin died at 21. Mum's life came crashing down. She now has just me, and she has become a bitter woman, blaming her fate for her misfortunes. While dad has moved on and is raising healthy children. pls love is not enough. tell your cousin not to short change herself bcos men aint loyal. sorry for my epistle, this hit a sour spot.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your pains, Please do take care of your mum.
DeleteYou have said it all,
A word is enough for the wise.
Very touching story!I agree with ENCHANTED-Please take care of your mum.sorry for all you've been through!it is well.thanks for sharing.God bless you
DeleteSorry dear, a close family had similar issue and the only child of the separated union died last year, leaving the woman all alone while the man is raising a healthy family somewhere and the woman is already 60.
DeleteI believe so much in the power of prayer.tell dem to seek God counsel cos dere is more to a successful marriage Dan genotype..
ReplyDeleteI agree.
DeleteSame way one will willingly marry a wife beater and believe in the power of prayer it makes no sense. God gave us brain so we should use it. Maybe you should come and tell one of my patients about this when she is crying in pain cos her parents probably didnt pray enough.
DeleteGod isn't a God of confusion he has made them know before time their status isn't that message enough.
I believe in God and the power of prayer but in my opinion, if they cannot afford PGD&IVF, let them pray for his/her AS genotype to change to AA before they try to have kids. Again nothing is impossible with God but Thou shall not tempt the Lord thy God.
Deletejust going tru ur previous post,I luv wat I saw n how easy it is to comment unlike oda blogs.u ve won my loyalty.kip it up
ReplyDeleteThanks for the loyalty dear.I am veeeeery grateful.
DeleteAs much as i believe in miracles, i think any AS couple hoping for a miraculous genotype change, should wait for the miracle, when it happens den dey can by all means proceed with their marriage. it is selfishness to go into marriage n bring forth children dat wld go thru the pains of sickle cell
ReplyDeleteYou have a very good point dear.thanks again ivy
ReplyDeleteI am in Belem's( hope she does hang me by my toes)shoe as I type but difference between both of us is that I am not expecting a miracle but wanting to use IVF or Surrogate or to adopt a very cute Korean baby girl...#Jussayn
ReplyDeleteYea lemme add a bit" I kinda love your story telling skills, just fell across your blog moments ago in Stella D's blog.... more grease or more stories to your archives.
ReplyDeleteit may seem like what you want to do now, but believe me it's not worth it. I know what I see sicklers go through in the hospital everyday
ReplyDeleteit may seem like what you want to do now, but believe me it's not worth it. I know what I see sicklers go through in the hospital everyday
ReplyDeleteVery true my dear.very true!!!
DeleteBiko they shouldn't....Na today?I am AS as well and I have got to deal with it......When they start going through the whole drama,it won't be funny especially for the child .
ReplyDeleteAfter your advert on SDK,I decided to visit. Keep it up!!!!
Hmmm... interesting write up. My close friend is in the same situations at the moment and few months pregnant for the guy. Now both parties are scared to go ahead with the marriage plans after introduction but the question, what then happens to the child?
ReplyDeleteThe best thing for them to do is to go their separate ways since they've found out that they both are AS. No parent would want to see their child(ren) go through the pains of sickle cell. Put love aside and think of your future kids who will curse you each time they go through a crisis.
ReplyDeleteJust came by here from SDK's blog. I love your blog!
I manage Hbss children daily in the hospital. It's a sad sad situation. I see some children crying and saying they wish they were never born. The complications are too too many. The pain they have is the smallest of all their problems.
ReplyDeleteNOBODY should willingly do that in fact it's a crime for 2 AS people to marry knowingly no child deserves such punishment. I know a woman with 4 children who are sicklers. Week in week out shes in the hospital with one of them. The 25% chance of having a Sickler is per child. So in her case her 4 children are the 25% statistics. Even if you decide to do a bone marrow transplant for cure which is crazy expensive it has its own side effects too.
Saying you believe in God to not give u a Hbss child is trying to tempt him. He gave us wisdom for a reason.
Very touching story indeeed
ReplyDeleteVery touching story indeeed
ReplyDeleteCrissy I totally agree with all your comments.
ReplyDeleteVery touching! Pls how can be getting update of your blog?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeletePls don't ooooo. Its hard but you just have to move on
Deletei have a couple of SS friends and i know the SS struggle BUT Nigerians are usually of the opinion that Two A.S people cant get married as though the one and only reason for marriage is reproduction what of love?my opinion may be stupid but they cant both get married, look into adoption and take birth control measure.
ReplyDeleteLets be realistic how many nigerians will actually willingly opt for adoption knowing they can actually have a child or just refuse to have children. Even if they agree their parents will give them sleepless nights.
DeleteMANY Nigerian couples adopt but they do it secretly, waiting for a pregnant teen to give birth to the baby they will adopt while the wife pretends to be pregnant. IVF has been around for years but people would secretly do it and keep mum. Don't know if its Ignorance abi hypocrisy.
DeleteI think they should go on a one -week tour round hospitals to see what the SS kids go through, personally ill call it ethnographic studies for both of them. They should be taken to separate clinics for this 7 day period and also made to take care of those children when they are in pains, attend to them and be their personal nurses. after the one week period, if they decide to go ahead and get married, So Be It!!
ReplyDeleteDon't try it! Please don't! The pain and trauma is not describable.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to find this post very useful for me, as it contains lot of information.strange wedding cultures
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ReplyDelete