FACE OFF

The warriors  marched towards the palace. They numbered in the thousands armed with swords, shields and spears twice as tall as men. The men's facial features obscured by war paint with fearless eyes. Their seemed to be no doubt in those eyes. These were men going to battle, these were men willing to kill or die this day.

And so they marched on.

ALEXA RANTS!!!

Hello,my name is Alexa and I want to get married.I wont say my age,because I know the people on this blog have bad mouth.All I can say is that I've been single for long enough to know that I've been single for too long.

WHAT CAN I DO AFTER BEING RAPED?

How does life play these tricks on us? Like a really fast pendulum, one minute you are extremely Happy, and few seconds later, its like the world has crashed on your head.

One minute, my world was complete I was at my happiest and bam..... THE END. I cannot make sense of this, its been three days now and I still don't know what to make of it.

I met Emeka(not his real name of course).We met in church.He wasn't the handsomest of men.He was a little too short for my taste,but he treated me with respect.He adored and loved me.We dated for a few months and then he proposed.I was over the moon.Emeka was every bit the man I wanted (save for his height,but nobody is perfect right?)

ORDEAL

I drove to the end of the road and stopped in front of the house by the bridge. I parked, and sat in silence for a while, giving myself an opportunity to change my mind.

 Truth is, I knew there was no turning back. I was here, and I had to do what I came to do.

I felt the movement of the baby, and instead of bringing me joy, all I felt was a pang of trepidation.

This was the only way out.

I rested my head and closed my eyes, seeing the happiest time of my life.

I married Leslie, the love of my life straight out of college. We were young, wet behind the ears, and stupid enough to think that the life would always be sunny. Six months after our marriage, I fell pregnant and my world seemed aligned.

Everyone was ecstatic, and I had never seen my husband as happy as he was when I gave him the news.

ENTANGLED

Maureen got into the car, and Jay drove off. She shuddered to think about what lay before her. No doubt her client would be another one of the numerous old men whose money could buy the city. Their money certainly buys them her body. She looked at the outline of Jay's jaw, and her mind went to the first day she was introduced to him. She had been in a very low point in her life, and made the decision to travel this road. Jay was her transporter. From that day, her worries reduced. She blossomed and was happier than she had been in a long time. Nobody had to know that deep down she cursed the day she was conceived every time she had to endure and pretend to enjoy rendering her services.

GO FIGURE!!!

Happy independence day" he declared with a less than pleasant smile on his face.

Between the blazing sun and the stench from his armpits,I didn't know which offended me the most.

"Gerrout of here!! "I screamed at him, scarcely recognising my own voice amidst the blaring of car horns and the stink of sweat.The Air conditioner wasn't  working,and if any body knows traffic is Port Harcourt, a hot afternoon is  the worst situation to be in when your AC is bad.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD A COUPLE HAVE SEX?

To all those expecting Sunday Erotica, sorry O, abeg O..... ehen.


Let's talk about sex. Now don't look at me like that..... I know what you guys are thinking,  IT'S A SUNDAY...... I know. But I am just curious, Is there a standard number of times that a couple (married or otherwise)should have sex? I am serious here, Is there?

Recently, I met up with some friends at a bachelorette party . (You know what goes down at those things.... And do not ask about the strippers, I am still sweaty thinking about them).  Like all bachelorette parties when you throw in a bunch of women and alcohol the conversations always tend to get a little bit "unholy" (or in our lingua, gist dey bring gist). From nowhere Clara threw a question at Freda"how often do you and Julius have sex?" . Clara is fond of being straight forward, and the alcohol in her system didn't help.

MIMSY

“Come off your high horse, Mimsy, this dude is cute and rich. What more could you ask for?” Adaure said to her friend gesticulating wildly.

“Look Ada, I get that you are on honeymoon fever, but love is not contagious. Stop trying to hook me up…. I am not interested in another blind date” Mimsy replied taking a sip of her cocktail.

“By the way, where's your husband? He should come and take you off my hands biko” she continued.

“Kelvin is cooking dinner, so he asked me to get out of his hair for a few hours”

  “I wonder why” Mimsy rolled her eyes.

“I know what you're thinking and it’s not true” Ada said with a knowing smile.

“I'm thinking you're the most exasperating, opinionated and pushy friend I have. Thank God your husband knows it too”

“Oh please. I might be all that, but you're stubborn and strong headed” Ada replied.

“Whatever!” Mimsy giggled, as she went through her phone.

Long Pause.

DO ALL MEN CHEAT?

People will call me "A two faced bastard"but what I am is a man. A "today's man".I love my wife.She's the most amazing woman I've ever known.She's intelligent,Kind,supportive,and faithful.

What more could a man ask for?She's just perfect.

I remember when I lost my job years ago.I thought my life was over....I thought there was nothing left for me.Everyone deserted me....no one gave a crap.

You see,the world is a cruel place when you don't have money.Most women would've walked away.But my wife stood by my side.
She took care of me and the children. For months,she used her money to feed us and take care of the  rent.

It wasn't easy.....Things were bad.

No.

Things were f**ked up.

CHARADE

“Just deal with it, I’m out of here” he said to her, leaving her office and slamming the door shut.

Tsunade stared at the door for a while, then resumed typing on her computer. She would handle him later.

She had to file her report first, her motto has always been work while you work and play while you play. Or so she'd read on a bumper sticker somewhere.

Funmi walked into her boss’ office with trepidation, she had heard the intense argument, and didn’t know whether to expect a warm smile, a frown or rocket propelled grenade.

LOVE NOTES!!!

"Though I've never spoken to you,It seems I have loved you all my life.Your smile is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,your eyes are like the love spell of a goddess,the sound of your voice is like the sweet melody of a violin.Why am I saying these things?Why do I sound like a drunken fool?
My heart is yours Zainab A,...from now till the day I die....my heart is yours......!!!"

She realised her heart was racing,....like it always did when she read his notes.......!!

"Who are you?"She heard her own voice whisper into the morning air as she stood  in the middle of the parking lot of the office complex.

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

"I know what I said....because I was there when I said it" Kente said with the anger still in her voice.

Chris let the silence between them linger for a bit.
Even in anger,she was still witty.It was one of the things he liked about her,besides her beauty and sense of fashion.

But all that didn't seem to matter now.He thought as he stared into the ground between them.

She was starting to cry.
"...so..did it occur to you...that maybe...just maybe I might start having feelings for....you?"she said staring away from him.

"....but we agreed it was casual...no strings attached...we also agreed that in the event that either of us started a serious relationship,....this would end..."Chris responded.

PAY BACK!!!

Destiny said something.But Ivy was light years away.She remembered Christie's wedding day,the way the gown flowed on her body,how happy she looked.

It had indeed been a beautiful ceremony.Of course the groom's family had spared no expense.Everything was over the top, from the Wedding gown to the decor.

Ivy remembered her own tears that day,seeing her baby sister walk down the aisle towards the love of her life.

....the love of her life.

HOW BAD CAN A FIRST DATE GET???

She smiled at me again as the Waiter brought over our bottle of wine.

Yep!I thought.She was a beautiful woman.

"So how come it took you this long to accept my Friend Request online?"she asked as the Waiter opened the bottle.

WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL!!!!

  My uncle KARIBO and his wife ELIZABETH are the kind of couple every one notices.

Just looking at them, you can tell they were a very attractive couple in their younger years.My Uncle is in his  late Sixties/early Seventies.

THE ABUSER......(her story)

Why doesn't he fight back?why does he just sit there and take it?what sort of man(if I can still call him a man) lets a woman smack him around for the sake of love?

UNCOVERED

She walked down the stairs, her mind spinning out of control. She didn’t know when she got to the end of the staircase, and she tripped. She held unto the wall, to keep her from falling on her face.

No one seemed to pay attention to her. All around her there was a buzz of activity. She felt like screaming. Why did she have to go through her pains all alone? Why didn’t anyone care how she felt? People passed by her, going up and the stairs without even a nod in her direction. She felt so helpless.

THE SWEET DEAL

Olisa walked out of the house, like a gentleman. He had on a gray suit tailored by brooks brothers, bespoke for him. A Hublot Classic Fusion Haute Joaillerie glittered on his wrist, and black handmade Tanono Crisci shoes, completed his ensemble. When he got outside the house, he put on a pair of Chopard’s sunglasses, to protect his eyes from the harsh glare of the sun. He walked to his car port, got into a silver Bentley and drove out of his villa.

YOU CHEAT,...YOU DIE!!!!

Sotonye's hands shook as she picked up the gun.

She could still hear them in the guest room.

LET'S GO TO CHURCH.....

Henry didn't like Pentecostal Churches for three reasons;
1. they were too noisy,
2.the Pastors moved around too much whilst preaching(which he found a little disconcerting)
and
3. they had one too many offerings

The truth was, he didn't like ANY church.

His knowledge of the Bible was limited to;
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth..... "
and
 "...for God so loved the world......"

And lets not forget;

 ".....and on the Seventh day, He rested....."Which was Henry's Champion excuse for staying home on Sundays.

"...If God did it,...why can't I?" he'd always say.