To all those expecting Sunday Erotica, sorry O, abeg O..... ehen.
Let's talk about sex. Now don't look at me like that..... I know what you guys are thinking, IT'S A SUNDAY...... I know. But I am just curious, Is there a standard number of times that a couple (married or otherwise)should have sex? I am serious here, Is there?
Recently, I met up with some friends at a bachelorette party . (You know what goes down at those things.... And do not ask about the strippers, I am still sweaty thinking about them). Like all bachelorette parties when you throw in a bunch of women and alcohol the conversations always tend to get a little bit "unholy" (or in our lingua, gist dey bring gist). From nowhere Clara threw a question at Freda"how often do you and Julius have sex?" . Clara is fond of being straight forward, and the alcohol in her system didn't help.
Freda typically is a very shy person, so maybe it was the loud music, or the several shots of vodka, but she seemed to think about it for a while, then she said "my dear leave talk ehya, marriage no.easy. After being married to him for two years, I can boldly say that our libidos live on two different time zones". That got everybody laughing. "Seriously?" over zealous Clara asked.
"My sister if you leave only me ehn nacking should take place everyday. But my husband Mr. sex no be food, gives it to me as Sunday Sunday tonic. Right in between the first and second half of whatever match he is watching that Sunday, better for me if his team is leading" This of course caused an uproar.
"Freda na wa for you Oh, everyday ke? The man no go work?" Bimpe threw in amidst the laughter.
Freda raised her hands in surrender, "Is it my fault that I came with an ever ready libido?" she asked.
"You should even be thankful that you are getting your Sunday Sunday tonic" Betty said standing up, "Babes check me out na" she says turning around and giving us a view of her curvy figure. (Believe me, Betty has a body that screams sex appeal or the kind Opus calls live grenade)
"Do you know the last time Maxwell touched me?" she asked.
Everybody looked at her, awaiting a response. "While we were awaiting the results of the elections" she continued. Some people gasped in shock.
"Presidential election results O" she leaned forward and emphasized.
"But that is like four months ago..." Modupe said with disbelief. "Are you sure it still functions? check it for cobwebs O" she asked pointing towards Betty's midriff . And the girls burst into laughter. Just then, a handsome hunk of a waiter, brought us more drinks. (please where do these delicious looking dudes go during the daytime?)
"Funny thing girls, I actually thought getting married would mean more sex, but between taking care of children, work and household, most times sex dwindles the longer you stay together. I know it has dwindled for I and Evans" Gabby said.
"Ha what is with you girls and sex sef? how can you want it everyday?" Dora said when the waiter left. "As for Betty, just four months without sex and you want to die. Where on earth do you girls have the time and energy for sex?".
We stared at her in silence. "I don't like sex, I have never enjoyed it. It is just a necessary evil meant for procreation" she continued. "I can literally stay for a whole year without sex, and my husband doesn't mind. We love and understand each other and that's all that is necessary".
"Wait O Dora, you mean you can go one year without sex? Na wa o" I said shaking my head astounded.
"Ivy Yes I can, come one, sex no be food. Can't you stay for a year without shagging?" Dora asked me, at which I exploded into laughter.
"With or without my rabbit ?" I asked her eliciting a snicker from Modupe.
"I am serious here" Dora said defensively.
"So I'm I. My bob(battery operated boyfriend) has a purpose, as does my man. So If nepa takes light, I have a generator to fall back on" The girls burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.
As funny as this exchange with my friends was, it actually got me thinking, what is the right frequency for sex? A book I read says three times a week is healthy. But what do you guys think?
Happy Married life to my darling Mia, wishing you a marriage that lasts as long as you live.
written by Ivy Brown
LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIENDS
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID
I'd say it depends on what works for the couple. There should be no time table when it comes to sex. Some weeks, it could be everyday, others it could be a few times or once in a week sef. In all honesty, I'm like Dora and I can't be bothered. Sex no be food (no matter how out-of-this-world it may be). My friends say I'm not normal, but that one no concern me. That's why I Loooove long distance relationships. Hehhehee. Most times, I'd rather Just eat Junk food, play scrabble or watch a movie, then sleep.
ReplyDeleteSpot on Kween....this is sooo me.,sex isn't food abeg...i luv beverages especially,just gimme Milo and milk(very thick),straight on the rocks,cross leg and watch penguins of madagascar!!!
Delete*hehehehe,
Side eyes at kween. Lol.
DeletePersonally I think there shouldn't be any form of time table for married couple,
DeleteIt should b based on demand, as the spirit leads.
Personally I think there shouldn't be any form of time table for married couple,
DeleteIt should b based on demand, as the spirit leads.
Hmmmmm.
DeleteLike i said i bind any Dora in my life as a wife IJN!
DeleteAmen oo. Binding such husband too. Hian, no koba me oo. Who he wan kill? Abughim Rev sister biko. Lol
DeleteHehehe.Pam take time oooo! stop tearing a parcel that you will soon open gently oooo!
DeleteHmmmmm, Ugochi..I de watch you o!
DeleteI'm not trying to sound holier than thou or anything... far from it believe me. But let's be serious now, all of us here know that sex outside marriage is wrong but we still do it anyway. Lol. And since I'm not married yet, I think that's the main reason why I'm not so bothered if the sex is frequent or not. Although I admit that sex is important, it shouldn't be the main foundation of any relationship. For many people these days, 70% of their union is sex. What will such a couple fall back on when both of them are old and frail and can't get nasty in the sheets anymore? I pay more attention to bonding beyond the physical and less to sex for now. Then when I marry, I can be my hubby's sex bunny whenever and however he wants without reservations. *winks*
DeleteDid i beat anyone to a first position?
ReplyDeleteNah, buddy u late
DeleteChange of name @Dr's Boo? U late bros, so u follow de drag first position? Smh.
DeleteNobody!
Delete@ Iyke, u like not??
DeleteLemme flex another name nah..
Maybe I go consider name changing too...or maybe add Something to it....*smiling*
DeleteHahahaha. If nepa take light..... right on jare! But come o, one year ke, sure say oga is not getting his groove somewhere else?
ReplyDeleteIvy, this one no follow o. You owe us that erotic story, period!
ReplyDeleteSeconded!
Delete*side eye at Ivy*
LOL JSBUNNY NO GREE
DeleteThirded. #straightface.
DeleteShe can't run away from it....Gbam!
DeleteYou are on point!
DeleteHmmmm Ivy,,oya o here is the Sunday erotica, e wa so ti enu yin o, Ese pupo
ReplyDelete*Dr's boo is out
Dr boo, y u take all d space na?
DeletePam, u know on issues like this, u have to create a spacious environment so as to relax,chill and read comments...hehehehehe
DeleteOr should I take more space??? Hahaha
Who cares to join me??? *shines teeth*
Smh.
DeleteDr.'s Boo,
u cray.
I'm cray too.
Let's lounge.
Shift!
Oya I ve "dress" for u to relax..should I "dress" more or u Ok with d space??
DeleteCrazy lot! How did I jam you people sef?
DeleteLmao
DeleteAin't u our patron?
I missed you.
Why were u MIA?
Nne this booked space is too spacious ooooo!
Delete8 times in a month tops.
ReplyDeleteMore if there's public holiday in a month.
No sex if there's work tomorrow.
Cuddling does it for me.
8 times in 30/31 days? Now I'm scared.
DeleteI luv cuddling..arrrgghhhhhhh,no stress, just enjoy being in the arms of your partner,that is all..shikena
DeleteYes o, Pam.
DeleteSex for me is energy-sapping.
No sex a day before work.
I won't be caught napping at work.
Hiiiiiaaaaan...basically 2times a week?
DeleteMba oh...oma mme oh!
Hmmmmmm!
DeleteNma, see ehn.
DeleteTwice with the hubby compensates more than daily for some people oh.
That bloke tho.
*shines teeth*
Is sex and love making the same thing?
DeleteHahahaha...@Hawt Mrs
DeleteAnyways, it just depends on the couple. I don't mind it being everyday though #hidesface. Kidding, Lolz. Four times a week is cool.
ReplyDeleteOne year without sex in a marriage isn't it at all, except they ain't living in d same country. Is Dora sure hubby isn't shining anoda gals Congo? Cos a married man staying without sex for a year is a longg thing. Except she doesn't mind him getting it outside, she better do d needful and pretend to enjoy it.
It isn't good for married people to stay long without sex. Something must be fishy somewhere wen such is happening.
I'm emphasizing on married people here cos d chopping is already official.
As for the people chopping unofficially/unmarried, it just depends on u guys. How often do u see each other.... It's not d same thing as d married biko. Stealing is different from OWNING.
Pamscrib.blogspot.com
Hahahaha.
DeleteYou're such a case, Pam.
Lmao
Everyday/4 times a week...hmmmmmm!
DeletePammie? hiannn! Chuks are you taking note?
DeleteHmm gini, @chuks.
DeleteHmmmm, ukwu oku. Lol.
DeleteKedu di onye newer ukwu oku nke a?
DeletePam be looking for trouble
ReplyDeleteI no dey oo.lol
Wat I do naw?
DeleteSTEALING is different from OWNING...according to Pamela Ugochi Orji!!!!
DeleteHahahahah. D truth na. Chopping illegally is stealing. Chopping legally is OWNING. Lolz.
Delete@Pam, chopping illegally is stealing not owing oooo!
DeleteHaaa! Ivy, so not fair and so much for the Sunday erotica. Anyways for me 3 to 4 times weekly is just ok averagely. However, just like kween put in, what works for couple A may just not fit with couple B. Sometimes it's just good to go with spontaneity and not the arranged number of times. I mean, sex according to schedule just takes the romance and fun off the scheme of things. If it comes once a week sometimes cos of good reason or it comes 5 times a week with the fun, all join😜
ReplyDeleteEndorsed!
DeleteHaaa! Ivy, so not fair and so much for the Sunday erotica. Anyways for me 3 to 4 times weekly is just ok averagely. However, just like kween put in, what works for couple A may just not fit with couple B. Sometimes it's just good to go with spontaneity and not the arranged number of times. I mean, sex according to schedule just takes the romance and fun off the scheme of things. If it comes once a week sometimes cos of good reason or it comes 5 times a week with the fun, all join😜
ReplyDeleteNne nawaohhh. do i even get time to count it?
DeleteNotification of change of Blog ID
ReplyDeleteI formerly known as Dr's Boo now wish to be addressed as Amariee(as indicated on my blog ID)
Pls bear in mind that they did not hack my hand nor my account, thank you.
Amariee(a.k.aDr's Boo)
New wife?
DeleteAWWW. Dr's boo sounded more sexy. Lol. Ok, noted.
DeleteNoted Amariee.
DeleteNothing do you.
Chuks, if I hear...I just wanna flex another name
DeletePam, don't worry with time we'll get used to it, fnx dear!!!!
Amariee[aka Dr's boo] noted!
DeleteI'm not married, I speak for my single self
ReplyDeletemy bae and I live in different cities, if I go visiting for 2 weeks we make out 28 times *sex is refreshing* and yes "sometimes it is food*some glands needs greasing.
Eyecandy nwa iri sharp,
DeleteBaby la hot.
Hehehehehe
DeleteDts twice a day for 2 whole weeks? You no try naaa....it should be like 6-8 times the first for days, dts 24...before una come slow the tempo..hehehehehehe !
DeleteEyecandy just killed me!
DeleteLmao.
When you are taking what does not belong to you, you always rush it!
DeleteHeheheh #shines teeth
Delete@chuks....I didnt want to exaggerate. E fit be as you talk or pass so sef....Lol
Ukwu oku. Lol
Delete@Eyecandy, I for say. If we know it is only 2 weeks, no time o.....na so door go lock, no business with outside world the first 6 days.
Delete#Teamsexisfood#... *smiles n walks away*
ReplyDeleteCome back here.
DeleteStop disappearing.
Your comments are both blunt & rib-cracking.
Post comments frequently biko.
Have I told u Dat I love u. Lolz.
DeleteSunshine of my life #nohomo#..will u gerrin hia, young lady come back here and stop disappearing.
DeleteLove u still
Why walk away hen there is an important issue on ground?
DeleteVERY VERY INTERESTING TOPIC! I THINK THIS *MIA* WILL LEARN A GREAT DEAL FROM ALL THE COMMENTS ABOVE! HAPPY MARRIED LIFE MIA! I ALSO THANK GOD THAT HE DID NOT GIVE A WIFE LIKE THAT YOUR FRIEND DORA WHO CAN CLOSE HER LEGS FOR A WHOLE YEAR! HE DID NOT MAKE TO BE MAXWELL THAT IT TAKES MORE THAN 4 MONTHS TO TOUCH MY WIFE,NOT EVEN TO TALK ABOUT THE EVANS THAT BELIEVES THAT AS THEY AGES, THEIR LOVE MAKING HAVE TO DWINDLES. GOD FORBID! AS A MATTER OF FACT NO TIME TABLE FOR SEX IN MARRIAGE! IT CAN COME UP ANT TIME,PLACE ANY HOW IT IS LEGAL!
ReplyDeleteHml...beautiful couple
ReplyDeleteAs d spirit leads biko........could go a whole year like kween said with board games, books and movies to keep me company.......but if I like u and u r able, my dear. I'll become "toxic" to u
ReplyDeleteNo amount of games will be a better company when you have the best companion, a warmer and a cooler!!
DeleteMzmaris, *high five* jare. You get my flow.
DeleteAs d spirit leads dts all. Body language can speak anytime n its always good to respond when it speaks bc dts when sex is enjoyed.
ReplyDelete@ As the spirit leads, lolz!
DeleteI like the spirit leading tinz, very interesting when being led.
DeleteAs often as possible in marriage. Sex is sweet and should be enjoyed *wink*
ReplyDeleteI waka pass biko
ReplyDeleteI never marry yet.
My partner and I have sex at least three times a day
ReplyDelete