MIMSY

“Come off your high horse, Mimsy, this dude is cute and rich. What more could you ask for?” Adaure said to her friend gesticulating wildly.

“Look Ada, I get that you are on honeymoon fever, but love is not contagious. Stop trying to hook me up…. I am not interested in another blind date” Mimsy replied taking a sip of her cocktail.

“By the way, where's your husband? He should come and take you off my hands biko” she continued.

“Kelvin is cooking dinner, so he asked me to get out of his hair for a few hours”

  “I wonder why” Mimsy rolled her eyes.

“I know what you're thinking and it’s not true” Ada said with a knowing smile.

“I'm thinking you're the most exasperating, opinionated and pushy friend I have. Thank God your husband knows it too”

“Oh please. I might be all that, but you're stubborn and strong headed” Ada replied.

“Whatever!” Mimsy giggled, as she went through her phone.

Long Pause.

DO ALL MEN CHEAT?

People will call me "A two faced bastard"but what I am is a man. A "today's man".I love my wife.She's the most amazing woman I've ever known.She's intelligent,Kind,supportive,and faithful.

What more could a man ask for?She's just perfect.

I remember when I lost my job years ago.I thought my life was over....I thought there was nothing left for me.Everyone deserted me....no one gave a crap.

You see,the world is a cruel place when you don't have money.Most women would've walked away.But my wife stood by my side.
She took care of me and the children. For months,she used her money to feed us and take care of the  rent.

It wasn't easy.....Things were bad.

No.

Things were f**ked up.

UNREPENTANT MISTRESS storm edition

image courtesy radnatt at freedigitalimages.net

Amaka stops by the curb rather abruptly. From the look on her face, she is clearly upset about something, and I have a feeling we are about to find out what.

She picks up one of her beeping phones, and frowns. "Yes darling, I know love I know. I would see you soon. Obim ndo o. Ok.... thank you." she ends the call and faces us.

CELL 307

I am really glad you guys enjoy my stories… Not certain how creepy some of them really are, even though Opus says they are super creepy. So I was pulled by my hair, from the couch where I was lounging and reading comments, to my laptop by you know who.


 I type this under duress in a padded cell where everything is….. guess…. Guess…. PINK. The usual white padded cells are not my thing I guess. My asylum is a democratic environment as they even let us choose the colour of our cells and even the cell number.


Mine is number 307(smiles knowingly), so come visiting if you dare. Needless to say, a lot of those mad people chose number 666, maybe just to show that they are indeed disturbed in their heads, or just for show. We have over 15 cells with that number on their doors.(way to go crazies).

CAUGHT UP

Image courtesy of hyena reality at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With a lurch, the car came to a stop and the engine belched to death. “Damn this” Chisom swore, hitting the steering wheel, “I'll kill that mechanic ” .

She continued looking at Halima who sat quietly, staring straight ahead.

“I don't like this….. ” Bisi's voice said from the back seat.

“Quit whining…. Nobody knew this would happen” Chisom said, looking at her from the rear view mirror.

  Halima sat in the front passenger’s seat, looking straight ahead.

The night was cold.

Chisom sighed, and started fishing in her bag for her phone.

“No need, it’s useless….. There is no network here…. Look around you babe, we're in the middle of nowhere” .

OPUSTJKWRITES SOCIAL MEDIA STORM

BLACK FRIDAY

The Man stared at her as she savoured another scoop of Ice cream.It was nice to watch her.The way her eyes seemed to swoon each time the plastic spoon entered her mouth.

She wasn't an unattractive woman infact,she was quite a looker for a woman in her Fifties.

Personally,the Man didn't approve of her eating habits.

6pm every Friday was Ice Cream  time for this woman.

The human body is a marvel of Bio Engineering.It deserved better than being bombarded by so much sugar.The Man frowned.

She didn't even exercise(If the last two weeks he'd followed her about was anything to go by).

Exercise was crucial for any human being.Even from this distance,he could tell that one of her bodyguards was in bad shape.

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

She heard a bang. She jumped in her seat and made a Typo in the document she was working on.She looked at her wrist watch, 11:23pm. She sighed and looked around her.

She was the only one in the office, thanks to her shrewish boss and her Employee-of-the-month-for-Eight-straight-months status. She wished she had had the guts to turn down this assignment.

So here she was, at this unholy hour, with an aching neck, back, arms, legs, aching everywhere.

She stood up from her desk, and flexed her muscles.

THE DEBT

Chike stared into the photograph with a smile on his face.

"You guys look so good together"He said still staring at the picture.

"The Photographer was fantastic."came Edidiong's voice from the kitchen.

Felix rolled his eyes and whispered,
"The idiot kept on staring at her cleavage like some lustful beast with a hard on the size of Jurassic world.Dude was supposed to be a professional for Christ sakes"

"I heard that"Edidiong said returning to the living room with their drinks.

Chike chuckled as she placed the tray on the stool between him and Felix.

"...Don't mind your friend jor,...."She said to Felix as he rolled his eyes again.

THE POTION!!

"Come and buy come and buy!"The Smallish buldgy eyed sales man was screaming  into the Public Address System.

It was a little difficult to ascertain how many different fabrics made up the multicolored coat he was wearing.In front of the man was a large red cloth spread across the ground.

There were dozens of strange colored  bottles strewn across the cloth.

A small group of people had gathered around the hungry looking sales man as he brandished a small yellow bottle in his left hand.

"De original cure for all Man diseases!!Are you having problems wit ya man-hood?is ya woman complaining dat you cannot perform well in bed?Are you tired of her calling you a 'small boy?'wen was d last time ya woman sed to you 'Beby do it again?'Biko,de answer is here....."
.

UNREPENTANT MISTRESS 12

Lemme guess,so because I've been silent for so long people on this blog generally assume I have nothing to say abi?

Ha!!!

I laugh in Japanese.

CHARADE

“Just deal with it, I’m out of here” he said to her, leaving her office and slamming the door shut.

Tsunade stared at the door for a while, then resumed typing on her computer. She would handle him later.

She had to file her report first, her motto has always been work while you work and play while you play. Or so she'd read on a bumper sticker somewhere.

Funmi walked into her boss’ office with trepidation, she had heard the intense argument, and didn’t know whether to expect a warm smile, a frown or rocket propelled grenade.

PASTOR BOSCO episode 5

Pastor Bosco wasn't having a fantastic week.

Two attempts had been made on his life and if not for the supernatural speed Jehovah had blessed him with,he would've been singing with the angels by now.

WHO DUNNIT? 4

Christian screamed and fell to the ground with a loud thud after the reptile had extracted its fangs from his flesh.

His pulse was racing.

Christian hated the fact that he knew what was coming.He'd watched enough documentaries to know the effects of a fierce snake bite.

 First would come the nausea,then the vomiting, abdominal pain, diarrhoea, dizziness and convulsions leading to kidney  failure and finally death.

He could already feel the nausea coming on.His blood would slowly loose its ability to clot and he'd bleed out.

Bad way to go,he thought.

KARMA'S A BI**H!!!

"I'll give you whatever you want...just don't kill me.....I have a wife and ...a daughter"Jacob ranted in panic as he was  shoved to the ground.

The skin on his forehead broke and ripped open as it brushed against the roughness of an unpainted wall.

He let out a screech and was promptly kicked in the ribs.

He stifled a yell.

He could hear them all around him.

He could smell the sweat on their bodies.

MR AND MRS

I sat in my car and watched my wife drive off with her latest conquest. From where I sat, he didn’t look anything more than twenty-five. I waited for five minutes, to give them a head start, before starting my car.

I get home, and my daughter opens the door for me. I give her a hug and walk into the living room, where her mother, my wife is seated working on her laptop.

“Welcome darling” she says standing up and taking my briefcase from me. I fall into a chair, and she kneels beside me and removes my shoes.