UNREPENTANT MISTRESS 12

Lemme guess,so because I've been silent for so long people on this blog generally assume I have nothing to say abi?

Ha!!!

I laugh in Japanese.

I guess you don't realise that I'm here to stay.

Amaka,the Queen Bee of Class?What would this blog be like without me?Whether Opus likes it or not,I must have my say.All this talk of fast sprinting Pastors and relationship gist is boring abeg.

But I digress....

Anyway,I finally sold Celestine's ring.

Now don't look at me like that.Like I always say,a true mistress must always have options.What's the point of being the Don DaDa of Runs-Chicks if I can get boxed into a corner by something as feeble as an engagement ring?

As you all know,Love,Marriage and Commitment are just words to me.

The only word that means anything to me is.....(drum roll) ....Cash.

Oh! I forgot my manners.....

Here I am ranting away without introducing myself.

I totally forgot the New Opusites on the Blog...Please forgive me.

Or DON'T.

I really couldn't give less of a F@*k if you did.

Life is a Choice and Bla Bla Bla.

My name is Amaka,the Unrepentant Mistress,First of her name,Hustler Numero Uno, Runs Girl Extraordinaire and Queen of the Night.

Yes,I sleep with men(married and single)for money,but I am not a prostitute....I hate that word almost as much as I hate the word "Poverty".

I consider myself a Business Woman...an Entrepreneur of Sorts.I am truly one of a Kind.I'm like the Mona Lisa painting,thousands of Imitations  but just one original.

Pleased to meet you.

Anyway,I recently sold my engagement ring.

Why?

A.Because I could

B.Because I love money

and

C.Because I could.

Listen,we could argue morality all night,but the truth is love is a lie.It doesn't exist.

Marriage is a prison.You're better off drowning yourself in boiling water.I mean what's the point? Wouldn't it be less inhumane if you just had Rat Poison for breakfast?

You idiots rush into marriage and few years later,you're fat,undersexed and drowning in Sh**ty diapers.And that's before you realize your spouse is cheating on you.

Is that what I have to look forward to?

Is that happily ever after?

So is it a crime to sleep around with these men for their money?

What's so special about going down the aisle anyway?

Your wedding bands are nothing but glorified Hand-Cuffs.

STOP DELUDING YOURSELVES!!!You hate your lives.

But once again I digress....

My "Husband to be"is a Wealthy- Potbellied-Importer/Exporter with a weird accent.

He got me a really expensive engagement ring.

The Alhaji bought it off me for Two Million Naira.

Not bad.

I told Celestine that I was robbed.

After crying ....or pretending to over the Phone,I told the "Love of my life" we would get a cheaper ring.Of course  this was bulls**t(Amaka?Wear a cheaper Ring?......NEVER!!!)

He promised to get me a new one anyway.


As for marriage,Ha!!!

I wont lie,I kinda miss the damn thing on my finger.

I realised that men get a kick out of running after women that are taken, different and uninterested, so I cashed in on it. I am an entrepreneur. The engagement ring on my finger, added a new angle to my business.

Clients, old, new and prospective, were thrilled to put in the extra effort to get my attention.

One even asked me if I was retiring. Hahaha I laugh in swahili.... me, Amaka... retire? Story for amadioha.

But I sat there, looking indecisive and squeezing my face as though I was actually thinking about it. Needless to say, that night I got twice my rate, and the man wanted to die on top my matter, like my services were going out of circulation.

 Great for business. At least Celestine aided my business. How many of you women can say the same for your "other halves"?

These days, more and more women are becoming the bread winners of their homes, because they dared to marry men that are only good for procreation..... Why would I want that for myself?

I love myself too much for that jare.....the Said men, would crawl begging to spend their wives hard earned money on me. Who I'm I to discriminate? I do not care who earns the money, how the money is earned, or why the money is earned. Money is money and my fees must be paid. Cash and carry.


One useless SOB, after wasting two hours of my precious time (funny how its the ones that can barely afford me, that go on and on and on on me.), gave me #200,000. I was not happy about it, but its understandable, due to the economy. I smiled, said farewell and headed off to a mall.

The SOB called me just after I left him and I was wondering.... abi he wants more?

I get that a lot. But my people, this man sounded out of breath, urgent and hassled. I told him to meet me at the mall and he did.

You would never believe what the mofo had to say..... "Amaka please, my wife's mother is really sick, that money was for her hospital bills which my wife asked me to pay.... I beg you in the name of God,just lend me the money, let me go and pay the bill or else my wife would kill me... I would pay you before the week runs out" (insert hysteric laughter).

By the time I cursed his ancestors and his unborn generations, he was in a heap on the floor right there in the mall begging.

So just in case his wife is reading this, say hello to your mother for me..... hope she gets well soon. As for the SOB you call a husband, throw him in a thrash, and reduce your liabilities. SHIKENA


I am Amaka, the whore of Babylon, courtesan extraordinairê and you will hear from me
again.

LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID.