HOW NOT TO KISS!!

I know this might sound silly,but is kissing a lost art??

Has anyone ever had a ‘dental collision’? Okay,I made it up.Sue me!
According to THE OPUS CONCISE ENGLISH DICTIONARY 1st edition, A Dental Collision is an

unpleasant collision that occurs during a kissing session".

Usually, this is what happens
Guy and Girl are kissing, the scene’s really intense, limbs and hands all over the place,there's enough heat in the room to power a small gas plant(or at least start a small fire),sex seems imminent...then.......it happens.

Their incisors (front teeth) collide in........ "mid-kiss"
 "OUCH!"
There goes another lost moment. A lot of Times these collisions(when they are mild)are usually ignored by the horny couple.
But other times.........,they're not.Especially when they REALLY HURT!!

Guy and Girl terminate kiss IMMEDIATELY! And then stare at each other with question marks in their eyes
"Was it my fault?" They seem to ask each other. Typically,Guy and Girl have three options available at this point;

a) Laugh over it and recommence smooching,

b) Secretly check if all their 32’s are in place,(which is advisable)

Or

C) Make a mental note to google "kissing for dummies/idiots & ignoramuses."

That's what happens when you kiss a "Collider"

Here’s a tip for identifying a "Collider" .
During a kiss, their teeth are always in the way. Enough said.

Aside from ‘colliders’, there are ‘drippers,piranhas and numb tongues’
The Dripper. ‘One who goeth to and fro the earth with a small lake of saliva in his/her mouth seeking an unfortunate face to drown"



Basically the Dripper seems to … well.......salivate during a kiss. He/she usually has saliva everywhere else (except in his/her own mouth) during a smooch.

Put it this way, you know how some people drool while sleeping? Well a dripper drools while kissing. How does one identify a dripper? The sad truth is you’ll just have to kiss one to know one. Sorry.

The Piranha. A close relative of the collider. They both choose to use their teeth during smooches. But the difference here is the piranha seems to confuse ‘making out’ with ‘eating out’. One false move and....SNAP!!! Severed tongues or lips. Trust me, it really hurts. Here’s a tip with kissing a Piranha....
KISS SLOWLY
 Most of their munching during the smooching occurs when they are excited. So take your time or risk having to use salt and water to gargle for the next two weeks.

The Numb tongues. Part of the bliss of a kiss is in the artistic movement of one’s tongue in your lover’s mouth.
Anyway, if there are heavenly tongues, then it is not much of a stretch to have a hellish tongue, that’s a numb tongue. It doesn’t caress or move around; in fact it doesn’t do anything. The tongue just sticks out of its owner’s mouth with no specific intention in mind. It’s kind of like a flaccid penis. You just can’t do anything with it. During a kiss, the numb tongue goes in your mouth and… just stays there (like you needed a second tongue).




 I hope I’ve helped.

Guys, Girls, Beware! These people are out there so protect yourselves. Colliders. Drippers, Piranhas, and Numb tongues are out there.

Life is a choice my friend
So choose wisely
Enough said








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Spammers on the other hand, would be shot, run over with my car, thrown off a cliff,
hung by their toe nails, and made to watch me do the MAKARINA....... in slow motion.
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