PASTOR BOSCO episode 3

Calling the small room Pastor Bosco sat in an office would be like calling a Batcher a Serviced Flat.

It was essientially a small room,with a single window,a leaking ceiling, unpainted walls,and an untiled floor.

It had two plastic chairs and an old wooden table with enough nails on it to start a small carpentery workshop.

Thankfully,the heat wasn't so bad today.



Another wave of stench oozed into the room.The Pastor  felt his eyes water.Ideally he would've preferred not having the Church so close to a refuse dump but one must never despise small .....or "stinky" beginnings.

 He stared at the malnourished looking offering tray.

Final count was at Two thousand Three Hundred and Twenty-Five Naira.

He frowned.

May God have mercy on the person who dropped that last Five Naira note.The Pastor thought.

And they call themselves Christians?!!
Who knows?He thought.

Probably, this could have been yet another reason for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Demonic stinginess.

Sister Agnes walked in with a  grin on her face.
No doubt she was looking forward to her share of the bounty.

Greed was such a terrible sin. He thought. Imagine no one was afraid of touching God's money.

"Man of God" Sister Agnes said grinning.
He was very certain she had "touched" the offering before now.

"What is it?" He spat at her.

"Haba!Are we quarrelling?"she asked opening her hands in a gesture of surrender.

"Please,I'm meditating...don't disturb me" he said waving her away.He had to "spirit away"  with this  money some how. He thought.

"Meditating...?"she said eyeing the offering tray skeptically.

He kept a straight face.

"That Fine man is outside..oh!"she said rolling her eyes.

"Send him in immediately" The Pastor said.Hopefully the day  could still end with money  in his pocket.

Sister Agnes hesitated for a while,then she slowly........cautiously, made for the tray.

"If you near this tray,I will place an anointed curse on your head."he said in his own version of "righteous anger"

Long Pause.

She hovered for a little while longer by the table.

Then a sound came from the doorway.

They both turned to look.

The "Fine Man" was standing there, looking inside the room.

"God bless you sir,...Please come in" Pastor Bosco said,with a loud cheerful voice.As far as he was concerned, the man's presence was a sign from God that, that day poverty was not his portion.

After a long awkward silence, sister Agnes Reluctantly left the room.But not before throwing a stern look at The Man Of God.

The "Fine man" stepped in, bringing with him a perfumed scent that was slightly overpowering.

The scent he brought with him was heaven in comparison to the putrid air that habited that room.

The Pastor watched "Fine Man" wrinkle his nose at the foulness.

So me that is here nko?....Don't I have nose? the Man of God wondered.

As "The Fine" man sat down,Pastor couldn't help but marvel at how nice the man looked and smelled.


So you can buy expensive perfume but you can't give offering abi?The Pastor thought.

Stingy man!

The  Man stared at the room's interior with a somewhat skeptical look on his face.

"Young man..!" The Pastor began after a long silence.

".....Do you fear God?"

"Yes I do sir" the man said without flinching.

That was a bad sign the Pastor thought.

Usually, most people cowered any time he used his signature authoritative tone.

This Man seemed unmoved.

"I don't believe you,...if you fear  him you will not come  to his house empty handed"
"I didn't come to Church empty handed"The Man said,a little defensively.

"Aha!" the Pastor went,placing his elbows on the table.

"...so why didn't you give offering during the service?"

"How did you know I didn't give offering....were you watching me?"
The Man asked curiously.

Long Pause.

"....It was revealed to me....in the Spirit"The Pastor replied leaning back into his seat.

Clearly,this man was no push over.The Pastor thought.

"I worship God in my own way"The Man said adjusting his obviously very expensive suit.

The Pastor caught a glimpse of the Man's watch.

It didn't look cheap.

"Blasphemy!!!"Pastor Bosco said rising to his feet.

"Do not tempt the lord your God...!" he said waving a finger at the man.

Usually this gesture was enough to unsettle most people but Mr Stingy here was a whole new monster.

"I don't have to give God money for him to bless me" the Man continued.

The Devil is a liar!The Pastor thought.
"I will not spend a penny for any Church for God to bless me".

"CHAI!!"Pastor Bosco exclaimed with his hands on his head.

Long and short, the Man left without dropping a single kobo.

Imagine that...not one naira with all his handsomeness,fine clothes and Perfume.

God will really Judge this generation.He thought.

He had started stuffing his pockets with the money from the tray.

With any luck he thought, he would make it out of there before Sister Agnes returned.

He was almost out the door when....

"Pastor!!! Pastor!!!" Sister Agnes came running.

Jesus is Lord! she has caught me.He thought.

He could hear a loud screams and violent crashing sounds coming from the other side of the premises.

"Pastor,come quick!!!"she said frantically.

"What is it...is there a fire....are we under attack?" His voice sounded more frantic than hers

"Come quick!!"

He'd never seen Sister Agnes so scared before.

Hesitantly,he went to check.

Close to the Pulpit, a teenage boy was picking and throwing the plastic seats around violently whilst muttering  gibberish.

A woman stood by watching and screaming at the teenager as he rampaged about the hall.

The woman was obviously his mother .If the resemblance was any thing to go by.

The boy's movements  were eratic .

The Pastor suddenly wondered if his current location on the pulpit were a safe one.

The young man didn't seem sane enough to make the distinction between broken chairs.....and people.

Suddenly,the boy stopped rampaging and collapsed to the ground..

His body writhing,twisting in what some would say were some pretty unnatural angles.Unless the boy were a part time gymnast or a contortionist.

Every one including the mother,a couple of elders and of course Sister Agnes were all staring at the Pastor.

"Please...do something sir" the mother  was pleading.

"So you brought him here to kill me abi?????" the Pastor said keeping his voice low.

He wasn't certain the raging teenager would appreciate loud noises......Well,it was theory anyway.

"...Pastor, we brought....him here because you're a Man of G......"the mother began.But her sentence was cut short by the Pastor.

."..Yes,...I'm a Man of God not a doctor.....this is a Church not an asylum..."

He still remembered to keep his voice low.

"....so Sister Agnes,you have conspired with these people to take my life?"

They all exchanged curious looks.

The Pastor was fed up with that Sunday.

First  it had been his money hungry land lord, then there was the  poverty stricken offering they'd  given, and who could  forget the stingy "Fine man"?....and now it was this demon possessed teenager.

Clearly this was too much for one person to handle....even a Pastor.He thought.

The teenager slowly got off the ground.

"Oh Jesus"The mother went placing her hands on her head.

"What is it?....is he better now???.....ANSWER ME!!!!"There was panic in the Pastor's voice.

The teenager was staring at him with rage filled eyes.

"...is he better now???"The Pastor was frantic now.

"....no,...Pastor whenever he gets like this.....he gets even more violent....and ...and he's looking at you....so....."The Mother said fearfully.

The Teenager began to advance towards the Pastor.

Then in a blink,the boy Charged at him.

My God! My enemies have sent an assassin.Was the last thought in the Pastor's head before he took to his heels.

He dribbled his way down the pulpit and flung himself through a nearby window.

He landed heavily on the ground,....rolled twice and was up again in a flash.

He moved like the wind.

EVERY ONE,....
....including the possessed teenager simply stopped and stared on in amazement at the mind-blowing speed with which the Man Of God ran.

...to be continued

LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID