Friday, 27 March 2015

PASTOR BOSCO


It was 5AM.

Ike walked briskly towards  the Pastor's house that morning.
Five times that week  had tried catching the Man of God at home, with no success.

This time was going to be different, he thought. He had woken up two hours earlier than usual.

His wife had already given him an earful that morning.

"Are you not a man?" she had screamed at him in the bedroom.

Are you his tenant  or landlord??.....biko. go and be a man"

So there he was, on the way to Pastor Bosco's one bedroom to collect the rent.





Pastor Bosco  was getting ready to leave the house. So far he had managed to avoid his persistent money-hungry landlord for the past week.
What is this world coming to? he thought.
No one respected the anointing any more.
He hated the fact that he had to run around like some common beggar, but desperate times called for desperate measures.


As he put on his new white suit, he checked his phone.

 He had over Nineteen missed calls from his landlord. another Twenty-Seven from Sister Abigail.....he frowned at this...So what if he had'nt paid for the suit he bought from her. Didn't people know it was good to sow into the life of a prophet? Nawa!!

As he headed for the front door, he caught a glimpse of Ike approaching his house.

"The devil is a liar" he whispered under his breath.

How could he be awake this early?The pastor thought.

He had to think of something....fast.

The rent was five months due and his Money-Grabbing Ikwerre landlord seemed out for blood.

Then the pastor had an idea as he unlocked the front door.




Ike stood outside the door. The morning was cold and he hated himself for not bringing his inhaler.
Hopefully this meeting wasn't going to be that long, he thought as he knocked.


At first there was no response from the inside.

Had he already left? Ike thought to himself.

He knocked again.

Still no answer.

"Man of God!!" he called out.

"God bless you my brother" he heard the Pastor's voice say. Please come in the door is open."

Ike opened the door and stepped into the sparcely furnished one bedroom flat.

Pastor Bosco was on his knees ....with his eyes closed.

".....I've been calling your phone...." Ike began

"shhhh" whispered the Pastor as he maintained his prayer posture.

"oh" Ike said as he respectfully kept his distance allowing the Man of God to pray.

"....and dear Lord,..."Pastor Bosco was praying

"..........let this vision you have shown me concerning Ike and his wife not come to pass....."

At this, Ike was taken aback.

What vision? he wondered.

".......I come against the spirit of death in his family......".

There was instant fear on Ike's face.Death ke?

Pastor Bosco continued praying;

"....and I cancel the love of money in his heart in Jesus Name!!!"

Ike just stood there silently. His mind was in a thousand places at once. Death in his family? thought to himself.
How can that be?

"Say Amen!!!!" Pastor Bosco suddenly commanded.

.".....Uh.....Amen!!!" Ike declared awkwardly.

With that, Pastor Bosco got up from the floor,...dusting his knees.

"Man of God....w-what Vision did you see?" Ike asked fearfully.He wasn't one to take prophecies and visions lightly

"The love of Money is the root of all evils" the Pastor declared, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"Which  love .....I don't love money o" Ike began defensively.

"Then why are you here this early......Did you even pray this morning????" the Pastor demanded.

Ike was confused.

Of course he hadn't prayed before leaving the house that morning but he didn't think it mattered.

"Man of God....I didn't ......." he hated how awkward his voice sounded.

"MY FRIEND, KNEEL DOWN AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS ...NOW!!!!" The Pastor commanded.

Ike went down on his knees faster than gravity could make him.

He quickly clasped his fingers together and closed his eyes. He believed Pastor Bosco was truly a man of God.....despite his inability to pay rent.

"Oh Lord,...." The Pastor was praying.

" Forgive this sinner for loving money....and also forgive him for not sowing a seed into the life of your prophet"

Ike felt terrible he realized he hadn't thought about doing that for a while now. He was so concerned with the rent that he never considered it.

His wife had pushed him to do this. He thought to himself.

"....SAY AMEN!!!!"the Pastor ordered again.

"AMEN!!!" Ike declared.

" ...and protect him from  the evil that is coming because of his love of money"

At this Ike opened his eyes to stare up at the Man of God.

"Biko,...which evil"he asked fearfully.

"CLOSE YA EYES.......SAY AMEN"

"Amen-Amen-Amen" Ike ranted.

"It is finished..." Pastor Bosco said calmly.

"...go and sin no more" the Pastor concluded

Ike rose from his feet grateful for whatever calamity. The Man of God had seen and prevented.

But he was still curious.

"Pastor....what was the vision you saw?"

Pastor Bosco stared at him for a few seconds .

"You and your wife are to fast for forty days,....and you must sow a very painful financial seed into the life of a prophet"the Pastor said simply as he started to make for the door.

Ike was speechless.
Was the Vision that bad? he wondered.

"Please,...I have to go out...it is because of you I am leaving my house this early..because, I have to go and pray for you at the altar...the situation is serious" the Pastor said as he fumbled for his keys.

"Jesus!!!" Ike said putting his hands on his head.

" DON'T TAKE HIS NAME IN VAIN!!!!" the Pastor barked.

"Oh, sorry..Dear Lord forgive me" Ike said staring at the ceiling.

"You need to start fasting...IMMEDIATELY"The Man of God warned with a threatening finger.

"Okay-okay" Ike said submissively as he still had his hands on his head.

"....And make sure you pay the money into my....I mean,... the prophet's account......Have you paid your tithe this month???" the Pastor Asked.

"No...I haven't... I will..."
"Mtcheeeewww!!!" went the Pastor in disgust

"Foolish man!!!....and I'm praying for you?....." the Pastor was shaking his head.

" Pastor, I will pay it...I...."

"Do you have it here with you?" The Pastor demanded.

"....no"Ike said hesitantly.

Long pause as the Pastor glared at him.

"Dear Lord....forgive them,....they know not what they do?" The Pastor declared with his hands in the air.

"SAY AMEN!!!!"

"....Amen-amen-amen!!!"Ike ranted again.

"Pay the tithe into my...I mean,..the Prophet's account...and don't come to my house again until after the forty days of DRY fasting...understand me???"

"But Man of God....dry fasting...I don't..."

"DO YOU WANT YOUR DELIVERANCE????"the Pastor yelled.

"Yes I do...yes I do"

"Then obey my Anointing.....See you in forty days" the Pastor said, leading him out of the house.



Minutes after the Pastor had left, Ike just stood there watching him go.

Forty days of dry fasting. He thought.

"Sha with God all things are possible" he said out loud.
Pastor Bosco is truly a man of God. He concluded.


As soon as Ike got home,his wife accosted him at the door.
"Where's the money??,...did he pay??....is he going to leave the house?" her questions were coming in fast and without pause.

"The love of money is the root of all evils" he said waving and accusatory finger at her.

Agnes had a puzzled look on her face.

"What are you saying?......You went out to get money...and came back with scriptures..what's wrong with you????"

"My dear, you won't keep me from my salvation" Ike declared as he walked towards the bedroom.


"Salvation ke?" Agnes asked still puzzled.

He stopped and turned around.

"We are  Dry fasting for Forty-days and Forty-nights....If you don't want your deliverance,...don't join me" he said flatly and went into the bedroom.

Agnes just stood in the center of the living room clearly confused.

"Deliverance?....dry-fasting?....is my husband well at all?" she asked out loud.


Pastor Bosco stood at the bus stop.

He had to get to the church...he was late.He thought to himself.

He had exactly Ten Naira in his wallet.In this fuel crisis, the trip to his church would cost at least One Hundred and Fifty Naira.

Suddenly, he had a Idea.


to be continued.....





LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY(say no to POLITICAL VIOLENCE)
ENOUGH SAID

22 comments:

  1. Pastor Bosco is going to preach in the bus and ask for offering.

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  2. Ha Pastor!!!! Leading the masses blindly!!!

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  3. Lmao. Some "pastors " though

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  4. Another one with fake anointing.

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  5. lwkmd.... all these pastors dere is God oooo

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  6. pastor Bosco, God will soon catch up with u. Funny enough, there are pastors like this!

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  7. Hahahahaha...I had to laugh. 40days dry fasting? Ike, your own is finished

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  8. self-appointed 'men of God' have been manipulating the religious populace since 1000BC

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    Replies
    1. Rolling on the frigging floor laughing, Ike was given an assignment to go collect gbese by wife, now The gbese"ee"(Pastor) now sends the gbese"or" (Ike)on another assignment " go fasting for 40days and night, them resemble Jesus chaaa....hehehe
      Pastors have been robbing people since like forever... na so so sow them they find to sow for their life...hiannn

      *Ticktock

      Delete
  9. Lolz. Yeye debtor pastor. God will judge u 4 misleadin pple.

    Pamscrib.blogspot.com

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. This pastor bosco taya me. Smh n it's funny that a lot of Nigerian pastors behave this way. Wherever God leads, He provides.

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  12. Lol. He's hoping they die in the process of the hunger games he's set them on

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  13. Lol Pastor is such a fraud talent. Ike is gullible.

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  14. The way church leaders are deceiving their followers is very very alarming! Sorry for all those sheepishly following!

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Comments are welcome......
Spammers on the other hand, would be shot, run over with my car, thrown off a cliff,
hung by their toe nails, and made to watch me do the MAKARINA....... in slow motion.
I'm just saying


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