CHARADE

“Just deal with it, I’m out of here” he said to her, leaving her office and slamming the door shut.

Tsunade stared at the door for a while, then resumed typing on her computer. She would handle him later.

She had to file her report first, her motto has always been work while you work and play while you play. Or so she'd read on a bumper sticker somewhere.

Funmi walked into her boss’ office with trepidation, she had heard the intense argument, and didn’t know whether to expect a warm smile, a frown or rocket propelled grenade.



“Madam the files have been uploaded” she said cautiously.

Tsunade looked up at her secretary and smiled.

“Very good, put a call across to them, informing them to begin the downloads” Tsunade said with her eyes still fixed on the computer screen.

“Yes ma” Funmi replied, leaving the office and shutting the door behind her.

Tsunade smiled, and continued typing. She couldn’t wait to finish her work, so it would be time to play. She loved the feeling she got from looking forward to tonight.



Femi looked at his wristwatch, and wondered if Tsunade would be home. He hoped not, he just needed to go into her house, pick up his stuff and leave. Her presence would make things ..... awkward.  He got out of his car, and walked towards her apartment.

No such luck.

She was in the sitting room, when he let himself in with his keys.

“I was hoping you would show up” she said to him, standing up and walking towards him.

“Tsunade, I don’t want any trouble, please, I just need to pick up the few things I have here and leave.”

“Hmm, I am now Tsunade, funny how we bear different names on different occasions. I seem to recall you calling me another name during sex last night.
So I'm Tsunade again?She asked jabbing a finger at his his midsection and going downwards.

“Look, there's no need for us to keep up this charade” Femi replied, removing her hand from the bulge in his breeches.

 Tsunade smiled, and took a step backwards.

“New word, 'Charade': ridiculous pretense. So after two years, our relationship's finally summed up in one word and that is the word you picked?” She said still smiling.

"Two years is a long time. I am no longer the man I was when we met, we just need to take this in stride, and move on.” Femi replied, looking away from her, sensing the impending tears.

"....'Stride'....another new word.Call me old fashioned,but I like the familiar ones. Like, Backstabber,Cheat.....Betrayer!!"She was screaming now.

Femi just stares back in silence.

“Would you at least tell me who the little twat is? You owe me more than that ” Tsunade said, clearing her throat.

“That's not necessary.” he said calmly.

“It is,......it makes a great world of difference.” she said, leaving him by the door, and going back to sit on an armchair in the living room.

Femi crosses over to her, and stands by her putting his hands into her hair.

“Can’t you see? I am no good for you. You are a strong, pretty, intelligent and sexy woman, you need someone….”

“O please, cut the sh*t. I'm not a child, so save me that B.S, just tell me who she is”

“You walk into my office today, and instead of a surprise lunch, you are there to break up with me.I'll give you points for originality....... Just tell me who” she snapped.

“You should understand that this is not what I intended for us Tsunade, this was never my plan, it just happened. I fell in love with another”

Femi suddenly looked drained.

“Obviously, you flirted, took her contact, and commenced shagging...... And before you knew it,.... Gbam, love happened. All in secret….” Tsunade rises from her chair.

“I have packed your things, they are inside that carton” She said, gesturing towards the dining table.

Femi started going towards the dining room, when suddenly Tsunade moves in front of him, blocking his way.

In a flash,she stabbed his neck with a syringe and empties the contents into his bloodstream.

 Femi grabbed her wrists, but he was too late.

Whatever she injected him with was working fast.He could feel his legs weakening.

“Let the games begin” She said coldly as he slowly slumped into the couch.



Tsunade drove Femi’s car towards the check point, with Femi sitting at the passenger side. She wound down her window, and a police man flashed his torch into the car.

“Wetin dey do am?” the Police Man asked, gesturing at Femi’s closed lids.

“Officer, shebi you be him fellow man, ask am na, as men una like to drink anyhow” Tsunade responded, laughing.

“Madam, madam na enjoyment be dat na. make una good night o” he laughed, waving her through.

Tsunade sped past them. She looked at the time on the dashboard, she needed to hurry.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at their destination. She drove into the deserted compound, where a small sedan was parked.

She parked his car by it and alighted.

Someone moved out of the shadows, towards her and she turned in that direction.

“I came as fast as I could ma” the voice said.

“Yes, come closer Funmi”

Funmi obeyed, and Tsunade held out her hand to her.

“You've been shagging my husband abi?”Tsunade spat clenching her fist as Funmi gasped and took a step backwards.

“No ma, please ma” Funmi cowered, trying to extract her hands from Funmi’s grip.

“Well my dear, today is a very important day”
 said, hitting her hard across her face, which had  her falling to the ground.

Tsunade stood looking at Femi. He is tied to a chair, and gagged and his eyes are barely open.

“Finally, I was beginning to wonder how long it would take for you to become conscious” Tsunade says smiling. Femi struggles on the chair, but stops when he realizes it’s but a futility.

“Guess who my second guest is?” Tsunade points, drawing his attention to his side, where Funmi is unconscious and also tied up in a chair.

 Femi’s eyes widen in shock, and he attempts to release himself to no avail. He mutters something incoherent, shaking his head.

Tsunade walks up to him, and removes the gag.

“....You saying, honey?” she asks.

“What do you think you are doing? Don’t dare hurt her Ayo” he says angrily. To which Tsunade begins laughing

 Then she picks up a bottle of water on the ground, and empties the contents on Funmi’s head. Funmi jerks awake frightened.

“Oh my God, madam please, what is happening here?” she says, looking around.

“Calm down love….” Femi begins to say, before Tsunade hits him across the face really hard, bursting his lower lip. He begins bleeding, dazed.

“Do not heap any more insults on me Femi, in case you haven’t noticed, I am in charge here. I would ask the questions, and you answer. Do you understand?” she spits out and they both nod eagerly.

“Good. Funmi, when did you start sleeping with my man?” she asks. Funmi looks at Femi for help, shaking uncontrollably.

“Why don’t you leave her out of this Tsunade, it’s me you want” Femi says.

“How chivalrous of you, but one more unsolicited word, and you would see a different monster…. You, answer me” she says, kicking Funmi at her shin.

“Four… four months ma” she replies.

“Hmm…. Okay, so how did it start?” She asks her.

“Em, hmm ma… I cannot remember” Funmi says, looking at Femi again.

“I don’t even think I want to know…… I employed you, as a favour to your ailing mother, my friend’s aunt. I took you as a sister, and treated you as one. Then you become greedy and decided you wanted my man too? Wonderful” Tsunade says going over to a table, and picks up a knife. She raises it up to the light, and examines it pricking her thumb with its tip, and licking off the blood.

“Wonderful, don’t you think? I was planning a wedding, and you were having an all expense paid honey moon, at my expense. Simply wonderful” she turns towards them, and the look in her eyes is murderous.

“Tsunade, please don’t do anything rash, this is not who you are” Femi says agitated.

“Do not get me started on your case Femi, I gave you everything, Tsunade the good girl, for two years and you end up with my secretary. This is the beginning of the end for you, so savour it.” She says, walking slowly towards Funmi who has been crying uncontrollably.

“Please….it is the devil’s hand work…. I beg you” Funmi sobs.

Tsunade walks to Funmi and slashes a line through her face. Funmi screams, as her blood dribbles down her cheeks. Femi screams in anger.

"You have a really good boy you are dating.... what ishis name again?.... em Tunde right? and you just needed to have more. My man, as more. Don't look so shocked Femi, of course she has anotherman, a good man.... bu that is never enough for you cheats, is it?" and Tsunade buries the knife in Funmi’s chest.

Then she pulls away from her, as she quakes feebly and her eyes widen in shock.

“What have you done? Tsunade why? Please” Femi screams.


“You never asked what happened to my exs, all the ones who cheated….. But not to worry, you would be joining them soon, in fact you would be sharing the same apartment”

With that, she takes the knife out of Funmi’s chest, and moves towards Femi. Who begins pleading for his life.

"I am the crusader, out against all men that cheat, I had high hopes for you, would have actually married you and continued my life's work in a new phase, but......" and without a second thought, she slashes his throat.
Then she goes over to the tables, and washes her bloodied hands.

“Cleaner” she calls out, and a man emerges from the shadows.

“Yes ma’am” he replies
“Clean up this mess, and close file 00141. It is getting late, I have a presentation by 9am, I need my beauty sleep.

"No traces okay?” she says walking out of the building.

“Sure ma, I might be late to the office, I would need to dispose of the cars.” He says.

“Take the day off” she replies, not looking back.

LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID


written by Ivy Brown for Lady Tsunade


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