UNREPENTANT MISTRESS 13

Wait wait lemme get this straight.I go quiet for a while and I don't get so much as a where's Amaka sef on this blog?I'm guessing since Rise of the Clans,Amaka's yesterday's news abi?

HA!!!(I laugh in seeeeeeerious Ogoni).Like I would even care if you guys asked after me.

I'M STILL MAKING MONEY B**CHES!DEAL WITH IT!

Now,to the gist of the day....Oh!Silly me.I forgot the newbies on the blog.My name is Amaka,AKA the Unrepentant Mistress,First of her name.Africa's No.1BadGirl,The Mistress of the Kamasutra and of the Night, the Numero Uno of Runs-Chicks.Bow to me now,and I will ensure your husband/boyfriend returns him tonight.

(Laughs Hysterically)

It feels sooooo good to be back!



I mean so much has been happening. You will not believe the new Magas that I have caught these past few months.

And Celestine?My Pot-bellied-billionaire-Sex-Machine of a fiancee?Him dey,Jare!Still showering me with gifts as I whore my way through my awesome life.

Oooh! Did I tell you guys that we're starting Marriage Counselling in a few months?Now,I know what some of you are thinking:"Amaka didn't you say you'll never get married,which wan be marriage Counselling again Biko?"

Lemme just clear the air,I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED!!!

And please don't get me started on this,I hate talking about the stupidity of being stuck with one man for the rest of my life.I mean who does that?

Except stupid,desperate,undersexed dimwitted and hungry women?I have enough money to take care of myself.

I just got the new Escalade(lovely car).It drives like great sex with wheels and air conditioning.And in case you're wondering,Yes ! I DID have sex in it last month.......

What?I mean how else was I supposed to thank the MAGA who paid for it?After he handed me the keys,I dragged him into the car and gave him a freebie.....(Well then again,it wasn't exactly a freebie since he gave me Five   thousand dollars afterwards).

So here I am,driving through the Streets of Lagos in my new car.Now,did I need to get married for that?Hell-F**king-No!

Did I need my awesome body deformed by marital Pregnancy?Hell no!!

Marriage is for weaklings.

Enough said.

So the gist of the day.My dear,(claps hands)See Gbase wey I don enter.

And no,I'm not pregnant again.(I still have nightmares over that).

My jazz-man gave me a small potion which I call "All-Weather-Protection".Now the AWP essentially ensures that I can have unprotected sex with ANYONE without the risk of catching ANY infection.In other words,its the ultimate condom....(on steroids).I mean,I once had sex with some wealthy Mallam Dude who I was certain had a highly infectious disease.At first,I was revolted by the sight of the large pustules on his skin.But once he offered me $100,000.00,I was willing to throw in a BJ.

What?....I disgust you?The very notion offends your delicate sensibilities?HA....Now I Laugh in Refined Ikwerre!You know what?I will get you and your delicate sensibilities a room with a Large L.E.D screen,complete with surround sounds.So you can watch me live lavishly (IN 3D).

RUBBISH!

Mtcheeeeew!!!.

How many people here are certain that they will see that kind of money in their lifetime?But because its Amaka,everybody is frowning face like"....s**t wey rain don beat"Abeggy!!!No price is too high for the good life.
But I digress.......Now where was I....?

Yes,My AWP!

I usually go to my Jazzman for a refill.But last week,I heard some very distressing news.My Jazzman apparently had a heart attack and died.You can Imagine my shock!

My Jazzman?Heart Attack?Dead?Weren't they supposed to be immune to s**t like that?


Now he was dead and I had ran out of AWP.

This is bad.....EPICALLY BAD!!

The thing is,if I don't get a refill soon, the diseases I'd been protected from would come at me .....FULL BLAST!

I wouldn't last a week.

Hey,no one said being Mistress of the Night was easy.

I have to do something ....FAST.

My fiancee is coming back into town in two days.I cant take any chances.Especially since Marriage Counselling is close by.

Me?Amaka?Die of a terminal disease?HA!You'll have better luck Killing Zeus with a toothpick.

And don't worry,I wont marry Celestine.I just want him to sign over his private Jet to me,and I'll be gone faster Than he can say,"WTF?"

My only option as far as AWP is concerned,is my former native Doctor,Olukwu.(Rolls eyes)
God help me! The dude has been trying to Nack me for years.Haven't seen him in a while though.

Wish me luck.

And for those of you still in doubt,one advice....Amaka is alive and well.Make sure your  husband's or boyfriend's eyes do not stray towards my direction......if it does, rein them in before they take that first step towards me....if you can. I am a siren and i would not have mercy.

I am still your worst nightmare O ye mrs something or another. Hate me, fear me, envy me or be me....


Later b**ches!!!






LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIENDS
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID





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