ALEXA RANTS 5

Okay, maybe I was a little too presumptious with Mr Movie Guy. I guess I just assumed he was....well,..."Responsible"....(is that the word I should use?I mean, he's got a great job at OLX,he's God fearing, and he's got amazing abs. So I'm guessing you guys want to know what's wrong with him. All these mumu people for this blog are probably going; "Alexa, wetin come do this one again nau?"

Mtcheeew!!!



Wetin una sabi sef? Do you think it's easy finding a husband?Biko, I'm not being picky, neither am I being unreasonable.Because I want to marry, doesn't mean I will settle for ANYTHING. Because I like meat no mean say I go respect Nama!

Mr Movie was the perfect gentleman. He pulled out a chair for me, he opened doors for me and blah, blah,blah. I mean, he was nice.
And yes, he was single as well.

But....well,....let's just say our libidos are on two different time zones. Look, I love sex as much as the next chick but, because I like am no mean say u go carry the tin kill pesin.

Tah! Mr Movie like Nack. Godforbidbadtin!!!I have never been so SEXED in my life.

Yes, laugh and roll your eyes all you want, but I personally think it's irresponsible for  a man in his Thirties to have that much stamina and zeal for sex.Abi d tin a food???

Anyway, here's what happened. We went out a couple of times.I'll admit, he was an amazing date. I had a lot of fun. And I also liked the fact that he was looking for a serious relationship.Everything seemed great. I found myself Googling things like; "How to Plan a wedding",and "5 steps to a happy marriage".

I was excited. I was in love.

I decided to hold off sex for another week or so (just to be sure). But eventually, I couldn't hold back any longer. So, I caved in and followed him home one night.

Now, his SIZE was okay. It was big, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

So, we went at it.

The first round took a while (okay, maybe a little longer than "a while"). After that, I assumed the night was over. I settled into his arms for the night. Did I mention I love to cuddle? Well, I do sha. ALOT!

So there I was trying to rest my muscles, when he got on top of me again.

I was caught off guard. Most men take a longer recovery time, but not this Spartan. In seconds, my legs were in the air again and he had picked up speed. He tossed and turned me around on the bed, bending my body at unnatural angles. The dude was a cross between a seasoned Acrobat and Dothraki Warlord.

Another hour of vigourous pounding past.Yes, I think "pounding" describes it better.

After the fourth, fifth or Sixth Round, I lost all feeling in my legs (shout sef I no fit shout again). The rest of my body felt like one massive bruise.

In my opinion, one or two rounds of sex in one night is okay.Anything more than that starts to feel like a boxing Match. Even film wey get Part One,Two and Three dey tire me to look.

The following morning, as soon as the first stream of sunlight entered the room, I ran away faster than he could say, "Round Ten".

So that's it.

He's been calling me since(biko,I no go pick).He's sent me messages on Facebook, Twitter and in fact any other Social Media he could find.

I will not answer.

I want to marry, yes. But, I no want husband wey go carry nack kill me.

Well,....the search continues.




LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIENDS
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID