I'M NOT CRAZY!

Paula took a drag from her cigarette. "Doesn't get any easier, does it?"

I rolled my head back and stared at the night sky. The stars were in a good mood. It was too cold for a Tee-shirt but I didn't feel like going inside or coming under mum's scrutiny again.

Paula scoffed. "What? You're gonna ignore me?"

"Let her be, Paula," Carla said "she's had a tough month."

Good old Carla! Always standing up for me.
 
"I say, come clean and tell your mum the truth." Leila said. She was sitting on the grass, a few feet away. Her legs were crossed and her long hair draped over her petite face.

I tried to look away, but her hair was so beautiful.

Carla's leather jacket rustled next to me on the bench. "That's not an option, Leila. I thought we were supposed to be helping out."

Paula let out some smoke. This was one bad habit I would never understand. "This is a waste of time. Linda isn't strong enough to do this."

"Hello! I'm right here guys." I hated it when they did that.

Carla put a hand on my shoulder "Bitch, we're trying to help you."

I smiled. Carla was the only one who could turn that word into a term of endearment.

The crickets were singing their hearts out.

I took off my sandals and felt the grass.

Paula sighed and dropped in next to me. She had a scent that made me think of casual sex and ashtrays.

"You're going to end up in an asylum." She said.

Leila covered her ears. "Could you please not call it that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant mental institution."

"I'm not going back." I said.

Paula rolled her eyes. "Says the Twenty-Five who hears voices."

Leila shrugged. "She also sees things, too."
"Don't be rude!" Carla said.

"I'm stating the obvious," Paula said "at this rate, her mum could have her committed tomorrow."

Leila shuddered. "I'm not looking forward to seeing her in a nut-house."

Paula threw her hands into the air. "Must it always be about you?"

"Linda's not well, she sees and talks to people  who aren't there. Like you, I'm merely stating the---."

"Shut-up, Leila,"Carla said "you sound retard---."
"That's enough you guys!" I was on my feet. "I just need to hold it together and act normal."

Leila frowned. "H-how do you act normal when...you're not?"

Carla ignored her and squeezed my arm.


"We're here for you Linda. Always. You're not crazy."

The sounds of the crickets engulfed us again. It was nice to have my friends around. I would've been lost otherwise. Mum would never understand. She was always trying to 'cure'  me.

The kitchen lights came on. Mum was coming.
"...em..guys...?" I hated leaving my friends. But it was getting late.

Paula began filing her nails. "Do you guys think blue is a good color for my nails? I'm thinking---."
The back door opened.

Mum gathered her pink robe about her and stepped into the garden. She looked around as if she hadn't seen it a thousand times before.

Paula was still. I was pretty sure she was holding her breath the way she always did when mum showed up.

Mum stopped a few inches away from Leila's foot.

"Who...who were you talking to?"

I kept my face steady. If I'd so much as looked in any of my friends' direction, she'd know.

"No one, mum."

She continued looking around. "Sure about that?"

I bit my lower lip and forced a smile. "Calling me a liar now?"

Her solid expression dissolved. "I'm...I'm sorry baby. I just...just thought---."
"I was losing it again?"
It was mum's turn to bite her lower lip. "I didn't say that."

Carla touched my shoulder. "But you were thinking it?"

"Please...Lin...I don't want to fight..after this evening---.".

"When you thought I was talking to my imaginary friend?"

She gave me a steady gaze. "That isn't fair, Linda. I'm just looking out for you."

"Well, there's nothing to be worried about," I said "my imaginary friend's gone."

Mum touched her forehead the way she always did when she was stressed.

"...that's not what...I meant---."

I walked past her. I knew it was rude, but if I'd stood there any longer, I'd have exploded into chuckles. It was hard to keep a straight face when Carla was giggling in your ear.

Sometimes I felt sorry for mum. She'd always assumed I had one Imaginary friend. She had no idea I had more than ten. And I'm meeting new ones every week.

I don't expect you to understand. You're not special like me.




I AM Opustjk
ENOUGHSAID