My name is Kong 3

They must've walked for  close to an hour. Ugo took him to a part of their neighbourhood he'd never been to before. It was the Far southern block known as "Babylon". This block was were the drug addicts, Prostitutes and the hopeless came to live. There was no electricity and very little water, which meant the stink was not of this world.


"Kai!" Ugo said, covering his nose. "Fly wey dey learn work no fit survive for here oh."


"This was your idea, not mine."


"So becuz of dat, make I no talk abi?"


Richard was silent, not because he didn't feel disgusted, but because he was scared of opening his mouth in such a place; there were free flowing streams of excrement in the gutters. He moved away to avoid a young girl pouring some dark smelly fluid on the road.




"Don't worry, " Ugo frowned. " We'll soon get there."


"Hopefully, before the stench kills us," Richard muttered.


They walked on through the slum, receiving weird stares from the people. An elderly woman passed by and farted in front of Richard.


"Chai!! Madam why na?" Richard covered his nose. The woman gave him a stern look and farted again.


"Mtcheeew!!!" She went as she farted on.


Eventually, they arrived at a small hut on the outskirts of Babylon. It was essentially a series of bamboo sticks held together by ropes and some cement. Tall grasses surrounded the area. From where they were standing, they saw a crude looking path led to the monstrosity of a hut.


"I'm not going in there" Richard shook his head. "I mean, look at this filth....."
Before he could conclude his complaint, Ugo was dragging him towards the hut.


"Even if na Zika virus dey here, we go enter today" Ugo said. Richard couldn't  put up any reasonable resistance. He was too distracted by large community of blood-sucking insects hovering about.


"This is a baaaad idea"


Ugo said nothing. They walked around the seemingly deserted hut.


It seemed deserted.


"WHO B DAT???" Came a coarse voice from inside the hut.


The loudness of the voice startled both of them.


"We're....looking for Ekpeyong....StrongFace Ekpeyong..!" Ugo managed.


"Seriously, That's his name?"


"Quiet," Ugo whispered. Then turned towards the direction of the voice. "We dey find Mr Strongface oh!"


There was silence for a long time.


Richard stared at their surroundings. There weren't many self-respecting lunatics that could live in a place like this, he thought.


"NA LANDLORD SEND UNA?" The voice said finally.


"No," Ugo replied.


"I DEY OWE UNA MONEY?"


"....No!"


"UNA BE POLICE?"


Long pause.


"Is he a criminal?" Richard asked suddenly.


Ugo gestured him to be quiet.


"Oga Strongface, we need your help.... Pesin dey here wey wan learn boxing."


"I NO B BOXER," The voice snapped. "AND IF UNA NO COMOT BEFORE I COUNT TEN EH?.... I GO MACHETE PESIN."


"Please, lets get out of here,"Richard said  tugging his friend's  arm. Ugo fought him off."He's going to kill us!"


"You too fear," Ugo shrugged.


"SIX...!" Came the voice.


"Ah-ah," Richard exclaimed. "Which time you reach six?"


"SEVEN.....!"


"Please," Richard was tugging his best friend.


But Ugo refused to leave."This guy sounds crazy."


"We go give you money," Ugo blurted out.
"EIGH---,-HOW MUCH?"


"Are you crazy?" Richard grabbed his shirt. "We don't have any----!"


"Bros,"Ugo said in a small voice. "Only breeze from Beast blow, fit faint pesin."


"I'm not talking about---."


Ugo gestured for him to be quiet.


"Na only me my mama born," Ugo continued. "Life still sweet me."


"I'm not paying him anything."


"Pesin wey wan save ya life, you wan speak english for am---- mtcheeew!"


Ugo reached into his pocket and brought out some money.


"Wait," Richard said curiously."Isnt that money from my room?"


"Which money?" Ugo said in a small voice.


"It is," Richard said pointing at the notes. "I know because I always wrap them in multi-colored rubber-bands."


"Na only you get rubber-band?"


"Is that my money or not?"


Ugo was silent. His eyes avoiding Richard's as much as possible.


"I...dey...sow... seed into...your life."


"With my own money??"


There was a loud thud behind them. They turned around to see a skinny,dark skinned man in shorts coming towards them.


He didn't look like a fighter, Richard thought. In fact, he didn't look much like ANYTHING. His clothes were dirty, and his beard looked at least three months old.


"How much be d money?" He asked.


Richard was visibly shaken by the man's stench. If  Kai-Kai had a National Spokesperson, this guy would be it. His breath wasn't just bad, it had PERSONALITY; it was a pungent stink of illicit dry gin.

"You go teach am?" Ugo asked, shielding his nostrils from the stench.

Mr Strongface gave Richard a thorough 'look-over.'

"D guy resemble Monkey o," he said scratching his head.

Ugo grabbed Richard's arm as he turned to leave.

"Guy, just relax," Ugo said.

"I didn't come here to be insulted."

"Dis guy don fight Beast before,"Ugo said struggling to keep his tone very low.

"And who won?"

Ugo looked away. He suddenly seemed timid.

"Wait," Richard said incredulously. "you're bringing me to the guy who got beat up by Beast??"

"Correction bros," Mr StrongFace said raising his hand like an annoying pupil in class. He didn't seem very steady on his feet. "Beast no beat me up.....na faint I faint."

Richard was speechless. He stared at the two of them like they were goats wearing sunglasses and taking selfies.

He started pacing about with hands on his head.

"Bros," Ugo said softly. "I know say you dey vex----."

"Me? Vex?---why?" Richard shrugged. "Why should I be angry,because you stole my money, dragged me through a slum--- to meet a drunk that's been beaten up by Beast?"

"Bros,"Strongface began."....na faint I faint oh!"

"This is a waste of time,"Richard rolling his eyes and turned to leave.

"I fit teach you," Strongface said simply.

Richard stopped in his tracks, but didn't turn around.

"Please, don't make me laugh," Richard said.

"I no fit teach you to beat am," Strongface said."Dat one Na longtin--- but I go fit teach you how to fight am."

The stench from this man was overpowering.

"Bros, at all-at all na him bad pass," Ugo said.

"So a drunk loser's going to help m--?"

Strongface's hand caught him before he could finish. The slap was so fast, he didn't even see the man move. The pain wasn't intense, but it was significant.

Richard had had it with this guy. How dare him! He charged at the skinny drunk intent on teaching him a lesson. But a blinding fist blasted the side of his face flinging him into the grass.


How could a drunk move that fast? He thought with his ears ringing, the universe was suddenly blurry.

"You go call me S.F for short," he heard Strongface say. "I go help you because I need money, ---- and I hate Beast......So when we fit start?'


I'M A WRITER
MY MIND'S MY WORKSTATION
ENOUGH SAID.
#Opustjk

My name is Kong 1
My name is Kong 2