MR AND MRS

Do I look like I am joking with you? Peter asked in that icy cold tone. Hilda didn't bat a lash. She rolled her eyes and flicked her hair. In the first few years of their marriage, the tone had been enough to shut her up, not anymore. His famous Kryptonite Rock weapon had become as flaccid as soft "Fu-Fu".








"Don't tempt me..... This is a warning" Peter continued.


"When you're through, write me the cheque" Hilda responded.


"You are not getting any money from me. Not concerning this issue and that's final."


Hilda smiled and watched him walk to the wardrobe. He changed his clothes and was about leaving the room.


" I want a cheque before tomorrow morning or all hell will break loose. You made a transfer of that amount yesterday, so you must give me the money I need."


 Peter paused, looked at his wife and walked into the living room. Ten minutes later, Hilda picked up the cheque lying on the table.









"You need to take my advice if you want to succeed" Hilda told her friend Bidemi later that evening.


"My husband is not giving me so much wahala"


"But he's giving you a little isn't he? He spends money meant for your home on women. I have gotten over Peter's infidelity, as you should. In the beginning I was going berserk, tracking him from one end of town to another. How much good did that do me? Now I have a better approach. I don't even bother about the women anymore."







Bidemi watched her friend go on and on about the travails of her ailing marriage, and her thought went to her husband. He was supposed to be a good man, a leader in church, a motivational speaker. What she hadn't known was that that meant a cold and empty bed, as her husband was everywhere but home, taking care of everyone but his family. He was an upright man, but how could she explain to Hilda that his it was uprightness not infidelity was the problem? How could she explain that she wanted a man that could take her dancing, make her crazy in bed. How could she make her friend understand that she wouldn't mind a cheat? At least that would be a cause for conversation, ANY kind of conversation, even the type that involved screaming and shouting. Her marriage had lost its flavor like Bubble-Gum when you chew it for too long.





Hilda observed that her friend was absentminded, she wondered why her husband, such a nice man, famous for doing good, would be such a philanderer. She wished her friend would listen to her. She was such a good woman and didn't deserve the treatment from her husband.











Peter stared at his sleeping wife, monitoring the rise and fall of her large breasts. He has always been a 'Boobs guy'. He leaned into her, inhaling her scent. He brushed her temple lightly, his wife had always been a beauty.



He remembered what a cheerful person she had been when they were dating. It was one of the things that drew him to her. She would smile and her gap teeth and dimples would show. He could never resist her smiles.



Marriage changed him more than he could dare admit. It was so intoxicating knowing that she was all his, and would do whatever he asked.



He didn't have to think about laundry or eating or cleaning anymore. He got used to his authority very fast and before long, he got bored.



He woke up one morning to the realisation that his wife was not enough. She was too available, too ordinary. He remedied that soon enough.



Numerous times she pleaded, after catching him with one woman or another. Then she began fighting the women and him. He was never bothered, that was the expected reaction.



He became bothered when she stopped. She no longer pleaded, cried or fought. She just did nothing. At first he thought it was the stress of having a new baby, but months passed and nothing.



Then one morning she woke him up with her first demand, also informing him that they were not going to have anymore children as she would no longer have sex with him. Two kids were enough. It was outrageous, but he couldn't refuse. His wife had become a little conniving vixen and that's what she remained.



His loins stirred for his wife, and it has been 19months of not having sex with her. He turned over to go to sleep, wondering as he often did, if she had a lover tucked in somewhere.








Hilda honked her horn, trying to get Bidemi's attention. But she sped on without taking notice. Hilda tried calling her, but her line wasnt connecting. She needed to speak with her, so she trailed her as they were driving towards Bidemi's house.



Two streets from away, she turned into a motel. This piqued Hilda's interest so she slowed down, giving her time to park her car.


Hilda wondered what her friend could be doing in a motel.



Maybe Bidemi had listened to her afterall. Hilda was excited. She came down from her car, and went into the compound, just in time to see Bidemi walking towards one of the rooms. The compound seemed deserted.



She was torn as to whether to wait for her friend to come out, to give her the requisite hailing, when she spotted Peter's car tucked neatly under a tree.



Nothing was a coincidence.


Hilda walked towards the room with a new resolve. Two minutes later, Peter and Bidemi were shocked to see her. Hilda burst into laughter. Her husband had outdone himself.


IVY




LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID