WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL!!!!

  My uncle KARIBO and his wife ELIZABETH are the kind of couple every one notices.

Just looking at them, you can tell they were a very attractive couple in their younger years.My Uncle is in his  late Sixties/early Seventies.

But he has the vitality of a Forty-year old.
If the old pictures my dad has of him are anything to go by,he was a very handsome young man.

His wife ELIZABETH(or aunty LIZZIE) who is in her Mid-Sixties,(although, don't tell her I said that)was quite a"stunner too.

They've been married for close to Forty years now.

No children.

What strikes you about the two of them is not just their looks,or vitality but the way they are with each other.They just seem to "go well" together, like extensions of one another.

One Day I invited them over to my house for lunch....or rather they invited themselves over.

My Uncle and his wife were like that. They could just pop in at any time unannounced.To be honest,they are the only couple in creation that can do that with me.

At lunch(which they brought with them from a nearby Chinese restaurant)I was half-expecting the "so-why-are-you-not-yet married? speech.

Obviously, most Bachelors hate that question.

But surprisingly, the question never came up.Instead we had a great lunch, had some wine and talked.

As we ate, I couldn't help being a little envious of them.They seemed so........."together"

I couldn't take it any more so I asked;

''Uncle, what's your secret?''

They both stopped in the middle of their meals to look at me.

''Secret?'' they said together and smiled at each other.

It was amazing how they could do that sometimes.

"I mean, you two seem so happy together and you've been together for longer than a lot of people have been alive in this country." I said, sitting up in my seat.

"In a time when divorce rates are so high, you too seem to be flourishing.....how come?"

Once again they smiled at each other.

"Well,....it's three things; Patience, tolerance and Hard work.These are three things lacking in most relationships today."He said.

I adjusted myself in my seat to hear more.

"You see, we live in a world where everyone is in a hurry"He went on.

"Everything is fast.Fast cars,fast internet,fast food.......I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that,....... I just think that when you're too much in a hurry to reach a destination,you miss out on the journey itself."

Interesting perspective.I thought.

He continued talking.

"There was a time when we wrote letters.Sometimes, it took about two weeks for your letter to get from one place to the other."

His wife giggled at this.

"Nowadays, people send pings halfway across the world in seconds and still complain of slow internet."

It was my turn to laugh.

"Everything is fast."He said.

"People are in a hurry to get married but don't want to take out the time to appreciate what marriage really is.
Nobody wants to learn anything, everyone wants a quick fix.

You spend time reading to get into the University.

You spend time reading for an aptitude test/interview for  a job.But when it comes to marriage(that lasts a lifetime)we sort of just want to "jump in" and hope for the best."

At this point,His wife pitched in.

"Happy/Great relationships don't just happen"She began as she poured some wine into her husband's glass.

"A lot of people assume that all that matters is finding the right
person,falling in love...then BOOM!happily ever after.
Any sensible married couple would tell you that Happily ever after in marriage requires hard work.

Patience,Tolerance and understanding are a must.
Any couple that's not ready to imbibe these three basic principles have no business getting married.....period."

Long silence.

I let her words sink for a few minutes.I sort of got where she was coming from.

"I love movies"My uncle jumped in again.

"They make love seem so colourful,sweet,and nice."
He said.

"Don't get me wrong, it's entertaining....and all.....but after the guy and girl kiss at the end, and the credits roll by,and the screen fades to black,...real life begins"

"Hmmm..."I said.

"If and when you meet someone nice...."Elizabeth added as she gave him a playful nudge.

"....Don't expect instant miracles.....BE PATIENT....just because it takes two people less than two hours to fall in love and live happily ever after in a movie doesn't mean it happens that fast in real life"

"Don't expect or anticipate perfection from your spouse.

Your spouse is not perfect, that is a reality you must face. She maybe a pretty dainty figure of beautiful feminity during the day, then at night she snores like the horn of a train and farts like a the exhaust pipe of a beat up trailer. That's where tolerance comes in" Elizabeth said.


"People make mistakes. Don't dwell on them, o Learn from them.

Be friends, and laugh with each other." She smiled


"People need to realise that a relationship is a contract between two people working towards a common goal.
It's not a function of passion or chemistry though,these things count they are not The basis of a long-lasting relationships.
Like every good thing in life,a great marriage requires patience and time.

A united couple can stand against anything.
Unity requires understanding" She concluded.


My uncle got up from his seat at that point as if he were about to make some monumental statement.
I had a feeling the wine was working.

"....relationships/marriages fail these days because of lack of discipline,patience,and tolerance"He declared.

".....and plain old hard work" Elizabeth concluded.


After that, we just hung out for a little longer,then they left. I am really looking forward to their next visit.

Interesting perspective I thought. So what do you all think are the necessary ingredients for a good  and lasting marriage?

LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID