I SEE GHOSTS.......!!!!!

"I see can see ghosts" I said plainly to the Him.

There was a weird long silence in the room.

The Doctor's name tag simply said "Dr Pere".He sat across from me regarding me  as if I were some new experimental drug he wasn't sure was safe for use.

Long silence.

He began scribbling into his small note pad.I noticed how clean his fingers were.As if they'd never been dirty in his life.why did all doctors seem so clean? I wondered.

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"So.....You see ghosts?"Dr Pere asked arching his eye brows at me.

"Yep"I said simply.

"I'm definitely crazy"

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and continued staring at me.He was actually a very handsome man.

"You'll have to forgive me ...I ....in all my years as a Psychiatrist...!he began
"You've never had a guy check himself in....I know but here I am.." I said.

I knew it was rude interrupting him by I'd made up my mind to skip formalities and get down to it.

I had a problem...I was seeing things.The other day a lady stopped me in the middle of the street to ask for directions.

She was trying to get to a nearby church.I knew the place.

I wondered why people were staring at me.But then,I brushed it aside.

This town was the "Staring" Capital of the world after all.People just loved to poke their noses into other peoples business.It was more or less a pastime in this town.

So anyway,I started giving her directions when my wife Judith got out of the car,walked up to me with that same worried look in her eyes and went;
"Who are you talking to?"
Like clock work,I'd paused.

I stared at Judith with the same look of shame on my face.

When I turned to look at the lady,...she was gone.

Judith had given me her signature;
"How-long-must-I-endure-this?" Stare.

To be honest,I couldn't stand it any longer.She was a good woman....a great woman in fact.Okay may be she wasn't as pretty as Dr Pere's wife but at least she was attractive which was more than I could say for a lot of wives I've seen in  my time.

I heard door behind me open.
"Sir....?"Came a female voice.

"Magaret,I'll be with you in a few minutes.

I stole a quick glance over my shoulder.

Yep,as I expected.She was pretty.Okay maybe a little short for my taste but pretty none the less.

"Lucky bastard!" I thought.

He gets to work with a pretty nurse and go home to a gorgeous wife.

There's just no justice in  the world.

"So..you're here because you think you're crazy?"The Doctor began.

He had a kind face and seemed like the sort of person I could trust.

" ..Why else would I be here?"I asked with a shrug.

He leaned forward in his chair.

"Maybe,You just want me to confirm what you'd always known."he said softly.

"And that would be.....?"I arched my left eye brow in my famous what-are-you-talking-about?look.

He smiled and sat leaned into the chair again.
"....that maybe you're not crazy,..maybe "he said.

Long silence.

"is this some sort of test?"I asked wondering if he was toying with me.

"Do you want it to be?"He retorted with some humour in his tone.

Yep.

He WAS toying with me.I thought.

"Listen.."I began.It was my turn to lean forward.There was a strange smell in the air .....it was like the smell of burnt meat.

Anyway,so I leaned forward and said;
"..I didn't come here for riddles...I have enough question marks in my head already....I need help....I'm losing my sanity"

The Good Doctor was silent for a while.

Between the cool air,the mild stench of burnt meat and the smell of drugs, breathing inside the office wasn't so bad.

"There's nothing wrong with you,...just go home to your wife"he said rising from his chair.

"Have you been listening to me?"I asked
staring at him incredulously.

"You don't belong here...."He said as he moved towards the door.

His tone was suddenly cold and distant.Had I upset him somehow? I wondered.

What makes you think you see ghosts?" He said holding his door open.The corridor was well lit a couple of pretty nurses walked by...a few peeked in but kept on walking.

"....I have REAL patients to attend to....real patients with real problems"He said.

And yes.He was definitely upset.Was that even ethical for doctors in his profession I wondered.

"Have I offended you in some way?" I said rising to my feet.And what was up with that stench?I mean like,where was I coming from?
"can I  ask you something?" He responded still holding the door.The Dude was quite tall.

"Okay,ask" I said folding my arms across my chest.I'd often wondered why I wasn't taller.My dad said it had to do with my mother's genes.There were enough short people on her side of the family to start a small village.

"How do you know they're ghosts,do they tell you?"

"....No they don't ..."I frowned.

"..they actually act and look like they're still alive....what's your point?"The smell was becoming overpowering.

"My point is..."He said,taking a few steps towards me.I couldn't comprehend his sudden mood change.Probably a by-product of working in a Mad house for so long.


Then it hit me.

If a trained professional like the doctor could lose his marbles in here,what would happen to me?

"...maybe all this is, just stress...you're not crazy...and what's wrong with seeing ghosts?"He sounded almost furious.

Maybe this was a bad idea.I thought.The one place I thought I would find help ends up being the last place I should've ever come.

The Doctor seemed a little....weird.

"What you have is a gift not a curse...please leave my office.He said unpleasantly.

Well,that was how I left that weird place.
Even as I past the nurses,Doctors and crazy patients,I couldn't help but wonder,
"....you have a gift"He said.

What the hell did he mean by that?

They all threw me curious looks as I walked by.

That smell again.

When I got outside,I called Judith.Of course she sounded a little shocked when I told her where I was.

She GASPED!!!!

"What the hell are you doing there????" I heard her  shout into my ear.

The sun was slowly giving way to the evening cool.

I was standing in front of the hospital and I needed a ride home.I'd walked for about an hour to this place and wasn't itching to walk back.

There was silence on the other end.Was she crying again?

Her silence on the other end hurt me deeply.
No wife wants to hear that her husband desires taking up residence in a Mental institution.

I had truly put her through a lot .I almost felt like crying.

"..it's along..."

"....I know where it is ...!"she cut in sharply.

"...I'll be there in a few minutes.."She said softly.

Then she hung up.

I must've held on to the phone for half a minute or so.

She was a good woman.And I was hurting her.

"where's the 'gift'in that?"I said out loud as a smallish girl that on closer look, was actually a woman walked up to me.

She had one of those ugly   hospital gowns the patients wore.

She had a lost expression on her face.

"I turned on the gas by accident....."I couldn't tell if she were talking to me or to some unseen entity standing next to me.

".....I only wanted to cook something..."The cross-eye woman said as her skeletal fingers attempted to touch my face.

"So sorry sir....."a stocky nurse said as came running.

"It's hard keeping track of them sometimes"The stocky nurse said as she carried the Patient  away.

".....I was trying to cook..." The woman was still saying as she was taken away.

I must've stood there for another Twenty Minutes or so.

Some of the patients were allowed to walk about the yard unattended.

One in particular scrawny looking Patient kept on pacing back and forth near by muttering ;
"I-won-the-election....I-won-the-election....I-won.....!!!"

Others just sat by themselves gazing sightlessly into the evening breeze.

Can we leave?" Came Judith's voice from behind me .

"Hey...!"I said trying to sound jovial.But her eyes said it all...she'd been crying.

My heart felt like it'd  been stung by a thousand bees at once.

Despite my issues,I loved Judith.I couldn't imagine what it was like for her coping with my "condition".

"...a gift.." He'd called it.

Last time I checked,gifts were supposed to bring joy....not this much  pain.

"....what are you doing here..??"she said frantically.

"....I needed help...I  just thought..."

"...You thought what...???"she suddenly snapped.

Some of the Patients turned to stare at her.

She suddenly put her hand to her mouth as tears slowly rolled down her face.

It was as if it just dawned on her that she'd been yelling.

With super human effort,she managed to compose herself again.

"....Can we just leave...?she pleaded
Minutes later,we were driving home.I told her what the doctor told me.....I told her how I got kicked out.

She drove the car in silence.Her hands tightening around the steering wheel.....I knew she was hurt.

I told her how badly the place smelled and how sorry I was about all the things I'd put her through.

She was crying.


I felt a tiny prick in my heart as my husband spoke.

Why was all this happening?

Was I being punished for something?

Of all the things a husband could've been cursed with,why did it have to be this?

Esuoh Dam Psychiatric Clinic had been closed for years after a deadly gas explosion that had killed most of the staff and Patients.

Some of the survivors claimed the fire was caused by One of the Patients who was trying to cook something.

The place had been shut down for years.Most of the victims had been burnt beyond recognition.

It had once been a well lit and nice looking clinic, now it was a burnt out, gaunt, and deserted building .

I turned to look at my husband again as he rattled on about his experience at this place.

It was hard not to cry....it was difficult to watch the mind of the man you love slowly fade away.

Maybe he really DID see ghosts...maybe ....just maybe......
At this point,....I just don't know what to believe any more.

Seeing him standing by himself in that desolate place was just too much to take in.

When will all this end?

Guess all I can do for now is let him keep talking as I drive us home.

I just want this madness to end.


LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID