IF YOU HAD THREE WISHES,....WHAT WOULD YOU WISH FOR?

I stared at him in silence wondering just how drunk I was.

Had I finished an entire bottle?

I continued looking at this strange police man as the night wore on.

Somewhere in the alcoholic fumes, I recalled staring at my watch not too long ago(which couldn't have been up to an hour)

But then again,I couldn't really be sure of anything could I ?

I mean,there I was at maybe 2:00AM or so parked by the side of a lonely road talking to a Weird Police man who had just told me he was a Genie with the power to grant me three wishes.

We must've stared at each other silently for a few minutes.

The usual morning chill was everywhere as I sat there.

Several things ran through my head.

The first of which was,I was high...I had to be.

Usually that's what happens when your girlfriend of two years dumps you and you drown your sorrows in half a bottle of Whiskey.

Your next question would very well be;
"So...what were you doing out here and how the hell had you driven yourself?"

Well,to answer that ,........I had decided(quite foolishly I might add) to go on an aimless drive(okay maybe not aimless because I was headed in the direction of her house)

Anyway, I was feeling down....I was feeling depressed...I mean since when was it cool for your girlfriend to break up with you over the phone...citing financial reasons?

I knew her enough to know she wasn't kidding....and something in her voice told me there was someone else in the picture.

So there I was driving...to see her with half a bottle of whiskey in my system and the other half seated on the passenger seat of the my car.

I had driven on this road thousands of times(part of the job description that came with having a serious girlfriend who lived on the other side of town.)

But I'd never driven on that road at night....especially THAT late.

Perhaps if not for the alcohol in my system I might have heard that tiny voice in my head going;
". ......maybe this isn't such a good idea"

But I was past caring.

I was angry, I was sad, I was broke, heart broken and drunk.

The road was lonely.....very lonely.

There were no other cars for company and the street lights were off.

But I still drove on.

Occasionally I'd dial her number and hear it ring until it stopped.

She wasn't picking.

To be honest,I wasn't certain what I was going to do once I got there.

Vivian lived with her parents.So it wasn't like I could DEMAND to see her at 2AM in the morning smelling like a small distillery while at it.

I was still thinking about that, when I saw him.

His black uniform camouflaged him on the dark road.

To be fair, I probably wouldn't have seen him if not for the flickering light from his flashlight.

I managed  to slow down.

My mind was in a fog, drowning under fumes of whiskey.It hadn't occurred   to me that the policeman was by himself....on a lonely road at 2am in the morning.

Booze can do that to you I guess.

I wasn't certain I had my driver's license with me....hell! I wasn't certain I had my wallet with me.

He motioned me to park by the side of the road.

I should've just driven on...but "Nope!"

The whiskey in my head said.

".....hear what this armed gentle man has to say on this dark lonely road."

So I parked.

He came over to my window.

Dude was quite tall,and seemed to have a limp.

"My name is Vodun....and I am a Genie"he said simply.

To be fair I wasn't certain if the words I'd heard had come from his lips or from inside my head.

But I was certain I'd heard them.

"Sir...I don't think I have my particulars"I began.It was frustrating that I couldn't see his face.

"...but I assure you this car is mine...but right now,I'm very drunk ...and I think I'm hearing things"I said as the Whiskey in my system began playing me a reggae song.

He didn't seem to be listening.

"Here's what's going to happen,"he went on.

His voice was uncannily soothing and nice...or maybe that was the Whiskey again.

"....I will grant you three wishes in exchange for your soul...Iyke" He said softly.

I was definitely high, dreaming or having a psychological break down.

And how did he know my name? I wondered.

The Whiskey in my system told me to laugh....and so I laughed.......and laughed.

He just stood there in silence as the morning chill caressed my face.

After laughing  for about a minute I heard my own voice say;
"...okay...(chuckle)...since I'm clearly dreaming....I accept,...and my first wish is for (chuckle)....One Billion Dollars in my account..."

Long pause.

"...Your wish is my command...."He said calmly.

The whiskey inside me was still laughing.

"....It is done!....when you need me look for a mirror and call my name three times...and I will appear" He said leaning into the window.

Odd.

I thought.

He didn't give off any scent.

Then I blacked out.

When I came to,I was in my room.

It was daylight.

I was lying on my mattrass staring at the ceiling.

Half of my skull felt like it had endured several blows from a seasoned boxer.

I managed to sit up.

As always,my room looked like a hand grenade had been tossed inside it.

My clothes and books were everywhere and the cobwebs on my ceiling fan hadn't moved.

Had it been a dream?

I was still wearing the same clothes and I had my car keys in my hand.

I searched for my phone...which I later found out was in the pocket of the jeans I was wearing.

The battery was  almost flat.

As I got off the mattress,and stumbled towards the bathroom, my eye caught the side of the bottle of whiskey sticking out of the bottom of a heap of clothes by the door.

"Well,at least THAT part was real"I  muttered to myself as I tried to make sense of the weird dream.

That's when my phone rang.

It was Mr Femi from the bank.

He was actually my Accounts Officer.

Weird.

I thought.

Mr Femi has never called me before.

The side of my head was still pounding and it felt like I was going to throw up.

I answered the call.

Mr Femi,in a very small and cautious voice,first addressed me as, "Sir"

Even in my hangover state,I still thought it was weird.

What he told me, made me almost drop my phone.

You guessed it,....there was a Billion dollars in my account(or at least its equivalent in Naira)

I think my heart stopped beating for a few seconds.

I think my spirit left my body,screamed,did the Makarina, and then came back.

Was I still dreaming?I thought.

Then he told me something else.

Apparently, the EFCC(Economic Financial Crimes had been informed of my....newly acquired wealth and would be in touch with me soon.

I gulped.

EFCC?

Mr Femi hung up after giving me a "Please-carry-me-along" speech.

I held the phone in my hand.

The words kept on playing in my head.

".....One Billion dollars"

"....your account..."

"....EFCC...."

Had I woken into another dream?

Seconds later,I got a call from an unknown number.My heart was racing again.

What the hell is going on?I thought to myself.

When I answered,The Man on  the other end had an unsually deep baritone.

The sound of his voice made me shudder.

He introduced himself as Mr Ahmed.

He was a senior officer with the EFCC.

Mr Ahmed said good morning and apologized for calling so early.He even managed to throw in a "how are you?" into the mix.

He then told me that I was invited to the EFCC head quarters that morning for a "brief discussion"

My eyes suddenly travelled the length of my room.

What on earth would the EFCC want with a guy whose room is as messed up as this?I wondered.

Images flashed through my head,the lonely road,...Vodun.
Was all this a coincidence?...and let's say it wasn't, where the hell had that kind of money miraculously appeared from? I thought.

This was crazy....this was REALLY crazy.

Mr Ahmed told me not to be alarmed that it was just a routine "discussion"

My heart was still racing.
Not only had I woken up a Billionaire(which was a dream come true) I was now being "summoned to EFCC headquarters for a "discussion"

It was all happening too fast.

At the top of my list of "Greatest fears" was being  locked in prison.I hated confinement in any form..and small spaces terrify me.

And on top of that was the fear of being raped in prison.

These were scenarios I never wanted to have played out in my life.

I didn't have any family in this state.And even if I did,they simply couldn't do any thing for a billionaire relative in EFCC custody.

Suddenly,thoughts of Vivian,my migraine and the state of my room seemed to evaporate.

I rushed into bathroom of my self contained flat and splashed some water on my face .

"Wake up,wake up,...wake up"I said frantically to my reflection over the sink as I slapped my face over and over again.

"Wake up...Wake up....you're dreaming." I said desperately.

My eyes were red and I almost couldn't recognize the terrified face that stared back at me.

"What do I do?" I asked my reflection

".....when you need me,find  a Mirror and ....call my name Three times" Vodun had said.

I stood there staring at my reflection.

"This is ridiculous" I said out loud with a scoff.

Genies didn't exist.I thought.

And even If they did, not dressed as Nigerian Police Officers on lonely roads at 2AM in the morning.

This was crazy.

But it WAS  one hell of coincidence.

I had no doubts in my head that I would be detained upon entering the EFCC premises.

How was I going to explain One Billion dollars in an account that barely managed to see Twenty Thousand Naira a month?

I wasn't a superstitious man and I rarely attended church.

But the thought of being locked in a cell made me willing to try ANYTHING.

"Vodun!"I said in a small voice as I stared into the mirror.

I cleared my throat and  said;

"Vodun!Vodun!...Vodun!"

Long silence.

Then I felt a presence behind me.....

...to be continued

LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID