Pastor Bosco wasn't having a fantastic week.
Two attempts had been made on his life and if not for the supernatural speed Jehovah had blessed him with,he would've been singing with the angels by now.
What was the world coming to?He pondered as he stared into the congregation.
Truly the End Times were near.He thought as Sister Agnes walked by with a nearly empty Offering Tray.
A quick scan of the tray,told him it was a little over A Hundred and FiFty Naira.
And they wonder why God doesn't answer their prayers.He frowned.
The Service was almost over.And he knew going home was a bad idea.His LandLord's wife had made it abundantly clear that if he didn't show up with the rent,she would personally behead him.
Imagine the rubbish.Threatening to kill a sanctified man of God because of money.Such Persecutions were sure signs of the End of Days.
The Devourer was after him.That was the only explanation.He needed a sign from God on how best to proceed.
Starvation and homelessness were the Two major Oppressions currently facing his Ministry.
He needed a sign.
Then he saw her.
She was clearly a First Timer.....she had to be.
She was an exquisitely beautiful girl with long flowing hair and a devilishly curvacious body.
As the Praise and Worship wore on,his eyes followed every curve hypnotically.
He suddenly felt an intense ache in his loins as he watched her dance.Her jewelry and dress told him she was rich...or at least had access to money....alot of money.
For a fleeting moment,their eyes locked and the Pastor felt his heart stop.
He momentarily lost All Motor-Functions as he almost dropped his Bible.
Then she looked away.
What manner of witchcraft is this?He pondered.
No.
This must be a sign from the Lord.
Clearly,God was directing his steps towards a wife.....a rich wife.
"Sister!!!"The Pastor declared in a loud voice.
The singing and dancing suddenly stopped.
"You!!!"He said emphatically as he pointed at her.
An extremely dark-skinned, heavy-set woman with arms the size of tree trunks and with Aligator-like Dentition, grinned at him.
She started to approach the pulpit.
Terror instantly gripped him.
"No weapon formed against me shall prosper...."He muttered to himself.
"No,the lady behind you"He abruptly said .
The large woman frowned and then returned to her seat.
He let out a sigh of relief.
The agents of the Devil were everywhere.
"Please see me after the service he said to the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.
Minutes later,he was seated in his office,doing his best to look as presentable as possible.
Due to malnourishment,he had lost alot of weight.Also, he hadn't shaved in weeks.
But what was Grooming when one had God's glory?He thought.
Then she entered the office.
The perfumed air she brought in was glorious.
He felt like he was in paradise.
This is my wife.He concluded.
The lady sat down and introduced herself to him as Ngozi.She told him she was single and was believing God for a husband.
"God is good"The Pastor said with an evil grin.
She went on to tell him she was a Doctor and had a very successful medical practice.
The Man of God was elated.
This was truly the hand of God.
He had heard enough.
With a loud authoritative voice,he said,
"My daughter,the lord showed me a vision of you in a white dress descending from the heavens."
At this,Ngozi's eyes lit up.
"Really?...when??" she asked excitedly.
"Sooner than you think"He said in a calm voice.
Long pause.
Her expression slowly darkened as she said,
"But man of God,.."She began.
"As much as I want to get married,I have another issue I....."
"In that vision,the lord told me that you're my wife"He said simply.
"Ha!!!"she exclaimed.
I have to work fast.He thought to himself.
He rose from his seat with his most stern expression on his face and said.
"Verily verily I say unto you,if we don't marry before the end of the year,a great calamity shall befall you,your family and all the patients in your hospital"
"Jesus!!"Ngozi exclaimed as she placed her hands on her head.
"Go down on your knees immediately and let us pray"
Ngozi obeyed even before he finished the sentence.
The Pastor smiled at himself.
This was almost too easy.He thought.
"In Jesus name...,"
"Amen!!!"She yelled.
"Let us pray against Monitoring Spirits that seek to disrupt our wedding...."
"...Em...Man of God....Can I at least confess some of my sins first?"she requested hesitantly.
"..the lord hath forgiven you my child..."
"....but I have a lot to confess"She pleaded.
Long pause.
"Very well,....confess them"He said as she closed her eyes again.
The Man of God stole one last peek at Ngozi's bossom before shutting his eyes again.
"Dear Lord,forgive me for fornicating with Mr Ikot.I know I shouldn't have done that with a married man...please forgive me, in Jesus name..."
"Amen!!"The Pastor declared in a loud voice as he smiled to himself.At least she wasn't a virgin.Which meant she had experience in bed.
Frankly,he didn't care if she had slept with a thousand men.After all,how many women in the Bible were virgins?
"......Also Dear lord,forgive me for fornicating with two other patients of mine,Mr Eze and Mr Peters....especially since Mr Peters was diagnosed with the Ebola virus....."
WHOOSH!!!
Ngozi felt a sudden gust of wind blast passed her.She steadied herself,kept her eyes closed and kept on praying.
"....Dear lord,now that I have found a husband,a true Man of God,....heal me of any diseases contracted as a result of my foolishness in Jesus name...."
But the Pastor's Amen never came.
Long Silence.
Ngozi opened her eyes to find herself alone in the Pastor's Office.
Where did he go?
....to be continued.
LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID.
Wednesday, 8 July 2015
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“Come off your high horse, Mimsy, this dude is cute and rich. What more could you ask for?” Adaure said to her friend gesticulating wildly....
Oooh my dear Pastor Bosco is back!!!! I love Opus
ReplyDeleteOmg!!! Pastor Bosco is always in trouble. Haha? Ebola ke? hehehe...
DeleteHahahahah. I so like this pastor. Pls opus, make this one longer biko.
DeletePamscrib.blogspot.com
The pastor has raptured
DeletePastor Bosco is one episode, double wahala!
DeleteVoom ka mma karia statement. My guy no wan die, e fit be say em blessing don come, but na race em take. Pastor Bosco will not kill us.
DeleteHahaahahaha longer throat na bastard, see pastor wey dey fear disease, Hahahah nicee one! Hilarious
DeleteLol...pastor bosco!!!!
DeleteRotfl. Pstr Bosco won't kill me o! 1 episode 10 troubles
DeleteLmao. He thought the world was coming to an end because the offering tray was almost empty. Anyways hie if you enjoy novels please visit http://amhabyba.wordpress.com
ReplyDeleteGood for him. Yeye Pastor. Saw a similar short video online some time ago...Pastor Bosco is looking for fast money
ReplyDeletePastor Bosco of Stomach Infrastructure! Lolzzz
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha.
DeleteTinini tanana
Bless you Opus bae for this dose of laughter. Love you muchos!
Oh my gosh. Hahaha. This pastor Bosco is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteVery hilarious.
DeletePastor Bosco my favorite nigga.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Pastor Bosco's faith no reach to cure Ebola abeg!
ReplyDeleteThe guy ran for his life ooo. Lolz
DeleteOpus, na only you dey see these thangs! You'se a Hawt mess and we LOVES it mucho mas. Gracias Papi chulo. Hawt Mrs, you can't beat that Que pasa mamacita?
ReplyDeleteCommunicate Anon!
DeleteLol nice,use to comment as abeniade oladunni
ReplyDeleteWhen you hear of ebola, your big faith must clear sharp sharp!
DeleteHahahahahhaaa, he ran to Opus house. Nawa for pastor Bosco, dis hustle for riches is really real o.
ReplyDeletePastor Bosco!!! hahahaha yeye!!!
ReplyDeletehope he ran with his #150.00 offering
ReplyDeleteHahaha. He ran without thinking of Dat I think. Lol
DeleteIf he forgot that money,he is on his own!
DeletePastor Bosco isn't ready to sing with the angels yet.
ReplyDeleteThis man is always on the run
Does he know any angelic song?
DeleteHahahah I think pastor bosco needs to meet olukwu for spiritual cleansing lol he need to wash his head off bad luck hahahah haba too much badluck for him kilodee?
ReplyDeleteYes, Olukwu will be of great help,only if he will not compound his woes!
DeleteAnybody with Olukwu address and phone numbers should please forward it to Pastor Bosco. Truly the bad luck following the Pastor is too much.
DeleteHahahahahahahahah... Practically rolling on my bed with laughter. God really blessed Pastor Bosco with speed.
ReplyDeleteHe can compete with Usien Bolt, he is just wasting his time in that church!
DeleteHahahahahahahahah... Practically rolling on my bed with laughter. God really blessed Pastor Bosco with speed.
ReplyDeleteHahahahah opus have killed me with laughter, lol @ An extremely dark-skinned, heavy-set woman with arms the size of tree trunks and with Aligator-like Dentition. Opus how can her body carry such seize of arm nd her teeth like that of aligator na vimpire she be abi na shark? Hahahahah am so sure those arms nd dentition scared d hell out of pastor bosco that he had to speak up before she proceed to grab him wit those arms. Hahahahah jst having this crazy nd silly imaginary pix of her in my head nd its cracking me up real hard.hahahahahahah.
ReplyDeleteI give kudos to sister Ngozi,she know the kind of Pastor she is dealing with that was why she used her own trick to scare him awayI hope she packed the 150 change on the tray!
ReplyDeleteBosco just allowed Usain Bolt to be packing all the medals and money, that is where his talent lies I guess. Opus, pls redirect that guy focus.
ReplyDeletePastor Bosco!!! In Nkem owoh's voice #you are. A very foolish man
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahaha...Pastor Bosco is back with his cunny man sense
ReplyDeleteMy favorite fake pastor. No time for rubbish
ReplyDelete