Thursday 2 July 2015

MR AND MRS


I sat in my car and watched my wife drive off with her latest conquest. From where I sat, he didn’t look anything more than twenty-five. I waited for five minutes, to give them a head start, before starting my car.

I get home, and my daughter opens the door for me. I give her a hug and walk into the living room, where her mother, my wife is seated working on her laptop.

“Welcome darling” she says standing up and taking my briefcase from me. I fall into a chair, and she kneels beside me and removes my shoes.



“Your meal is ready, I made something special for my baby, but first you need a bath” She gets up, and stretches out her hand to me. I grab a hold of it, and stand up.

“I am so tired, had a really hectic day” I say to her.

“Yea, you look it. Come on darl, off you go” she responds and I walk to our bedroom for my bath, while she goes into the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later, I feel like a new man. And as I sit on the couch, watching a football match, or pretending to do so, I wonder what to do about my wife who is seated close to me, going through her phone.

It all started with a new set of panties about eighteen months ago. I lay on the bed, and watched my wife try them on. I was seriously enjoying the view, then it struck me.

Tonte never tries on panties, and she definitely never buys these expensive types that barely covers anything, and screams seduction.

I sat up and took a closer look. My wife had a new hairdo, in fact she seemed to spend a lot of time in the saloon these past months. She had even begun applying makeup like those nineteen year olds.
I knew that something was going on right then. For two months, my wife came home late at least three times a week. We have an au pair, and the kids were well taken care of, but my wife was spending too much time outside our home. Very unlike her.


Then one night, she came back home and I was waiting up for her. Of course she had called to tell me she would be late, she always does. But that night I waited up. She got home by 11:45pm. I was livid and I asked her where she was coming from. She gave a flimsy work related excuse, but she reeked of a man’s cologne and cigarette smoke.
I knew better than to jump into conclusions, so I set to work.


 I take my marriage seriously, very seriously and I was not going to let anyone, not even my wife destroy the good thing we had going for us. I have handled a lot of divorce cases, and no way was I going to be seated at the other end of the table talking to a colleague.


For two days, I staked out her office without success. Then on the third day, my wife drives out during lunch hour. My wife takes her own lunch to work. I followed her, to an apartment building. A strange apartment building, where we have neither family nor friend. She stayed inside for about forty-five minutes… of course I was keeping track of time. She came out alone, and drove back to her office.


This happened nine times that month, but I never got to see the man. I was certain it was a man. So one day, I wait behind after she leaves, and minutes later, a young man about thirty years old walks out, gets into his car and drives off. I observe for two more days, and I become certain he is the one my wife was cheating on me with. My world crumbled.


I stop following her, and wondered what I was to do next. I looked at my three children, the youngest was six and the eldest eleven. Too tender to be exposed to and by their mother’s betrayal. I love my wife, and I had to pretend like I didn’t know what she was up to.

I was too embarrassed to even talk to my friends about it. Oh how they would gloat. Samson’s perfect little family, not perfect after all. So I sucked it in, held my head up and forged ahead. I couldn’t be a divorcee, no one in my family is divorced and I’ll be damned if I become the first.


 I knew there was a God, when they broke up two months later. Apparently, the guy was transferred to another state, and he warned my wife never to contact him for any reason.

For two weeks, she was like a stranger to I and the kids. She sulked like a teenager, but I was happy it was over. I hoped it was just a passing fancy. I tried to be better, maybe I had been failing in an aspect of our relationship. I bought her gifts, took her shopping, cooked her dinner, I even wrote poems for her and if there is one thing I am not, it’s a poet.


Tonte seemed to be her old self once again, and joy returned to our home. Not for long though because less than three months later, the cycle began again. This time, it was a text that gave her out. I was speaking to her father on her phone one Saturday morning, while she was dressing up to go out.

 Then a text came in and her phone just had to be one of those phones that showed text messages on the screen as they come in, without you having to open them.


Why? Why did God have to alert me? I would have been so much better not knowing. But no such luck. And so I followed her to her “Seminar” which happened to be a seminar for two. This one was a colleague of hers, a married colleague of hers. I was appalled because I knew the guy. I talked to him whenever we meet, and he was sticking it in my wife. That night as she slept, I held a pillow above her face.


This time I was saved by the colleague’s wife. Yup! She caught them. Luckily for wife dearest, she was just getting into her car at their place of rendezvous, when the wife arrived.

She came back home without a scratch, but with a cracked wind shield, which she attributed someone throwing a stone as she drove by. I heard that woman was a tigress.

Tonte was lucky, lucky indeed. Her partner wasn’t and he had one week in the hospital to bring him back to his senses. Then he applied for a transfer, and for the two weeks it took for his transfer to be approved, he avoided my wife like a plague.

Please do not ask me how the wife got wind of the affair.

Today, I was driving back to my office from the bank, when I got the alert. And I have to ask again, why? Must I know? Why do I have to go through the pain that knowledge brings…... But as usual, I set out to work.




LIFE IS A CHOICE MY FRIEND
SO CHOOSE WISELY
ENOUGH SAID





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50 comments:

  1. This man is a nut cracker, found this funny on so many levels.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Infrequent comment dropper here*

      I follow your blog religiously.. super impressed. Keep up the good work. It's not easy even though you make it seem easier than reciting the alphabets... all d best!!

      Delete
    2. Dude is sharp, smart, knows how to handle his issues without being involved directly. The wife go soon tire

      Delete
    3. Dude is sharp, smart, knows how to handle his issues without being involved directly. The wife go soon tire

      Delete
    4. A serial cheater jams a serial killer!

      Delete
  2. Woman, why art thou loose?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And he's going to murder this lover again!!! Smh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He hasn't been murdering the previous ones though.

      Delete
    2. Jasmine, he hasn't murdered any before. Just got lucky they got transferred. But now I'm thinking, he probably helped with their transfer just like he helped rival wifey to know... Hehehe, sharpest dude.

      And what a wifey too!

      STORIES @ ALIFEDIARY

      Delete
    3. Who understands the last paragraph?
      What alert did he get?
      Did he take his wife's phone along with him?
      Or did he bug her phone?

      Delete
    4. The alert is the fact that once again, circumstances have presented him with evidence, thus alerting him to the fact that wify is cheating.

      Delete
    5. Thanks Navaisha.
      In that case, #Godwin.

      Delete
    6. I thot it was the former Mr and Mrs

      Delete
  5. And he's going to murder this lover again!!! Smh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He hasn't been murdering the previous ones though.

      Delete
    2. Wow didn't knw it was another Mr n mrs tot was dey old one. I jst hope they husband will not murder his wife, cuz it's seems so, more like the mind of a man in pain, wic will end in murder. So sad, but the wife sef no try o.

      Delete
  6. Chai, women who cheat! God is really alerting him. Hehehehehe!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lmao! I like this man. Just burning his wife's ashawo cables steadily. Loool

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  8. Replies
    1. Cool guy indeed... Hisssssssss!!! A cool guy will confront his wife n stop this shameful behaviour if he still wants the woman or divorce her for peace to reign

      Delete
  9. loool... funny man! loose woman!

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  10. Freek-a-leeks. Me likey, three much. Do I see Voyeurism somewhere in herrr? Mr Husband, do you like the fantasy of your wife being with someone else while you imagine what is going down? Or is my detti mindi making me assume? Mmh, aah, dream on, dreamer, I love your tender ways. Hawt Mrs, Whatcha say? The wonders of the mind... 30 Shades of Blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Anon. It's startling u called me out. Hmmm...guilty pleasure. I cheated emotionally on my hubby these past months. Dude knew the right words to use, totally understood me, funny AF & a whole lot butttt...I couldn't bring myself to DO. Lol, i'm a nun at heart. & yup! I used to sulk whenever we had a fight. Shii! I can laugh about this now...X_X

      Delete
    2. Lol @ da joke. Gotta be, right, Hawt Mrs?


      STORIES @ ALIFEDIARY

      Delete
    3. You think?
      Looool

      Delete
  11. If this guy was Nigerian, he would have given his wife the infamous cheating slap to reset her tohtoh

    ReplyDelete
  12. Let me begin by congratulating MR on a successful Investigation. Some call it 'snooping', I always call it 'investigating'. And nothing like a level-headed thoroughly analytical investigation.

    That said, I'll now proceed to advise MR. Oga, wifey is a serial cheat... E don enter her blood. Speak out, Seek counselling and save the marriage. But it might not be salvageable.

    STORIES @ ALIFEDIARY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes,this is not snooping,it is investigation,.

      Delete
  13. Well, I am married and won't pray I go through something like this

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  14. Investigation in deed! If I hear. Are u even sure dis guys are being transferred?.

    ReplyDelete
  15. some women though...smh

    www.thatghlife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lol! He obviously has enough time on his hands. Very patient fellow though, pele!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This man will soon die of heart attack, wtf is this? can't deal, a serial cheat for a wife hmmm.more grease to ur patience.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Am telling u, bc I can't deal with cool guys, u won't know when dey are sad or happy. Bc dey seem cool all d time even when killing a person. Let's watch as it unfolds.

    ReplyDelete
  19. @chidinma lol. Cool guys are the best oo. At least they will really think before they murder you. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have to give it to cool guys, no drama, no raised voices and like @Henry Awak said, they really digest situations before they murder you and when they do, it ain't messy.

      Delete
  20. Things children make one do. Hi! If you enjoy novels, please visit http://amhabyba.wordpress.com thanks

    ReplyDelete
  21. That woman can't change unless with the fear of God and true repentance. The thing go de scratch am even when she no wan do. I have evidences to prove the urge to cheat (and the purported excitement ) overrules common sense.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You used the wife of her colleague to fight the man!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are welcome......
Spammers on the other hand, would be shot, run over with my car, thrown off a cliff,
hung by their toe nails, and made to watch me do the MAKARINA....... in slow motion.
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